In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, more
people
Use synonyms
choose
Wrong verb form
have chosen
show examples
to work with personal fitness trainers
instead
Linking Words
of playing sports or joining exercise classes.
This
Linking Words
trend is becoming more common in many countries. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
Linking Words
change and explain why I believe it is mostly a positive development. One of the main reasons is that personal trainers provide individual support. Unlike group classes, a
trainer
Use synonyms
can create a program based on a person’s needs and goals.
This
Linking Words
makes training more effective.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
often feel more motivated when they work with a
trainer
Use synonyms
, as they receive constant guidance and encouragement. Another reason is convenience. Many
people
Use synonyms
have busy schedules, so they prefer flexible training times
instead
Linking Words
of fixed class schedules. I believe
this
Linking Words
is generally a positive development. Personal training can help
people
Use synonyms
achieve better results and avoid injuries because exercises are done correctly.
For example
Linking Words
, beginners may not know how to use equipment properly, but a
trainer
Use synonyms
can show them the right technique.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
can improve their health more safely.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
some disadvantages. Hiring a personal
trainer
Use synonyms
can be expensive, and not everyone can afford it.
Also
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
may become too dependent on their
trainer
Use synonyms
and lose motivation to exercise alone. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
choose personal trainers because of individual attention and convenience.
Although
Linking Words
there are some drawbacks, I believe that
this
Linking Words
trend is mostly positive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question, but your ideas can be a bit more full. Add one more clear reason and one more clear bad side.
task response
For task response, your example is good, but it is a bit short. Try to add a more real and specific example to make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. To get a higher score, link ideas inside each body paragraph more smoothly, not only with simple words like 'also' and 'however'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some main points need more support. After each main idea, add one more sentence to explain how or why.
task response
For task response, you clearly answer the question and give your opinion all through the essay.
task response
For task response, your ideas stay on the topic and are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the order of ideas is logical and easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: