"In today's world, companies seek to keep the happiness level of their employees high through salary, health care and holiday packages. Can such measures make employees happy?"

In recent years, the issue of

employee

Use synonyms

satisfaction in the workplace has sparked much debate. Some people believe that financial rewards, healthcare, and holiday packages are sufficient to ensure

employee

Use synonyms

happiness

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, others argue that these alone are not enough.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain why I strongly disagree with the view that material benefits alone can guarantee lasting

employee

Use synonyms

happiness

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Firstly

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although

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salary, healthcare, and time off contribute to an

employee

Use synonyms

's comfort and financial security, they are not the only elements that determine long-term

happiness

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is important because employees

also

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seek meaningful

work

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, respect, and a positive environment. Not only does

this

Linking Words

help to improve productivity, but it

also

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encourages loyalty and a sense of belonging.

Moreover

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, recognition, fair treatment, and opportunities for personal growth play a vital role in

overall

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satisfaction.

In addition

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, a healthy

work

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culture and effective leadership are crucial in maintaining

employee

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happiness

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For instance

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, companies that promote teamwork, open communication, and professional development often experience higher levels of

employee

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morale.

Consequently

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this

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leads to lower turnover rates and improved performance.

Therefore

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, the advantages of focusing on both emotional and professional well-being clearly outweigh the disadvantages of relying solely on material rewards.

To sum up

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although

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there are opposing views on

this

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issue, the benefits of focusing on more than just financial and material benefits clearly outweigh the drawbacks.

Overall

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, I strongly believe that considering emotional well-being, professional growth, and a supportive

work

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culture is essential, as

this

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approach leads to more effective and long-lasting outcomes for both individuals and society.

nazianoor1314

Jul 4, 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to provide a few more specific examples to support your points. Examples strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea, and clearly connect these ideas to improve flow.

coherence and cohesion

You can add some transition words to make the text easier to follow, for instance, 'firstly', 'in addition', and 'to sum up'. These words help the reader follow your ideas.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position and what the essay will discuss, which is very good.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion nicely summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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"In today's world, companies seek to keep the happiness level of their employees high through salary, health care and holiday packages. Can such measures make employees happy?"

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, people travel to other countries for a holidays. Why people do so? is this a positive or a negative development for the countries they travel to?

When choosing a job, while some people think that the salary is the most important thing to be taken into consideration, others have a diverse view. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The plans below show harbour in 2000 and how it looks today

Fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas are the main source of many countries. However some nations are using alternative energy such as wind power and solar power. Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

It is often said that we should work to live, not live to work. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.