IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many cities, there are areas of land that are used as parks. With increasing population levels, these areas would be better used to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree?

Throughout
decade
Correct article usage
the decade
show examples
 human population has
been
Wrong verb form
apply
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increased
widly
Correct your spelling
widely
. Some people argue that land should be use fro housing rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 building a big park or playground.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that using area of land for recreational parks is more
beneficitioal
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 than building
aparment
Correct your spelling
apartments
 and
house
Check wording
houses
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, building
urban
Correct article usage
an urban
show examples
 ladscape carry many benefits.
In other words
Linking Words
, green
scapce
Correct your spelling
space

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say why you disagree and keep this idea in all body parts.
task response
Add one full main idea in each body part. Then explain it with a simple example.
task response
Your ideas are relevant, but they are not finished. Develop each point more.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear plan: introduction, body 1, body 2, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link sentences with simple words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Finish your second sentence and avoid very short or broken ideas.
task response
You give a clear opinion: you support parks over more housing.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction shows the topic and your main side.
task response
The first body idea about green space is relevant to the question.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban landscape
  • green space
  • recreational opportunities
  • mental well-being
  • ecosystems
  • urban heat island effect
  • biodiversity
  • water management
  • housing shortages
  • residential development
  • accommodate
  • urban areas
  • population density
  • sustainable development
  • quality of life
What to do next:
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