IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world,
one
Use synonyms
 can argue about many
invironmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 problems, including endangered flora and fauna
as well as
Linking Words
 climate change
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are happening around the globe. I personally think saving all species of plants and animals
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 of the most important and controllable issues that
people
Use synonyms
 can
execute
Verb problem
address
show examples
, On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, climate change is
one
Use synonyms
 of the biggest environmental issues that
people
Use synonyms
 are trying to tackle
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
rose
Wrong verb form
stems
show examples
 from the damage that has been
made
Verb problem
done
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 to the planet and
unbearable
Verb problem
has resulted in unbearable
show examples
 consequences to
people
Use synonyms
 around the world. Polluting the water, air and soil by many factories, cars and planes
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as conducting a war between countries which are
constanly
Correct your spelling
constantly
 bombing each other leave a deep mark on the planet that everyone can feel. These actions are causing not only the illness and death of
people
Use synonyms
 but
also
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 natural disasters that have been increasingly hitting each year.
That is
Linking Words
 why
people
Use synonyms
 are trying to draw more attention to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
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 tacking
this
Linking Words
 issue
requeries
Correct your spelling
requires
 many countries to
cooparate
Correct your spelling
cooperate
, share the valueable information and take actions at once
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
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 to be very difficult.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
saving endangered species of plants and animals are simingly easier to tackle and can have
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 purpose for each country or
an organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
.
One
Use synonyms
 country can make a strategy of saving
one
Use synonyms
 species of
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animal to show how their economy is working and how
people
Use synonyms
 are
leaving
Verb problem
living
show examples
 in better times.
For example
Linking Words
, China has
set
Verb problem
been trying
show examples
 to save pandas
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
long time
ago
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, as they reproduce very
rearly
Correct your spelling
rarely
 and depend on how unstressful
is the environment
Correct word order
the environment is
show examples
.Their reproduction can be interpreted as
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economic flourishment1 which a good
history
Replace the word
historical
 point for the descendants.
To conclude
Linking Words
, changing
invironmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 issues are the most important and hard things in the world and should be approached from the easiest to the hardest way to solve.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why loss of species is a main problem, and why other problems may be more important.
task response
Give your own view in a clear way from the start and keep it the same in all parts of the essay.
task response
Use examples that directly support your ideas. Some parts, like war and economy, feel far from the main question.
coherence cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea, then explain it, then give one clear example.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Use simple words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the one before it. Some ideas change too fast.
task response
You discuss both views, which is needed for this task.
task response
You give a personal opinion, and that is good for this essay type.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
coherence cohesion
You use paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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