Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activities. Discuss both view
There is ongoing debate about whether extreme
sports
should be banned due to
safety
concerns or whether they represent a crucial aspect of personal freedom that should be preserved. This
essay argues that extreme sports
are essential for helping participants
adapt to demanding environments and that the risks
associated with these activities can be effectively managed through strategic investment in improved facilities
.
On one side, extreme sports
present significant risks
, as they inherently involve a high level of danger. Ensuring the safety
of participants
is challenging because these sports
often attract individuals motivated by personal passion or financial gain rather than obligation. This
enthusiasm can lead to an increase in participants
willing to engage in high-risk activities, thereby heightening the potential for serious accidents.
Conversely
, extreme sports
offer substantial benefits. Participants
frequently develop advanced problem-solving skills that are critical for success in these challenging activities. Moreover
, extreme sports
attract considerable financial investment. For example
, Red Bull invests heavily in athlete training and event organization, which not only boosts its brand visibility but also
provides financial support to talented individuals who might otherwise
struggle.
In my opinion, preserving extreme sports
is important to maintain diversity within the sporting world. Nevertheless
, addressing the associated risks
requires enhancing facilities
and rigorously evaluating safety
protocols. This
approach necessitates government involvement and investment in the infrastructure supporting extreme sports
. By improving facilities
and implementing strict safety
measures, the benefits of extreme sports
can be maximized while
mitigating the associated risks
.
In conclusion, although
extreme sports
involve inherent risks
, their benefits in terms of skill development and financial support make a compelling case for their continuation. With targeted investments in high-quality facilities
and robust safety
standards, the negative aspects can be effectively managed, allowing extreme sports
to continue to thrive.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Consider adding a more nuanced discussion of counterarguments. Although the essay mentions the risks and benefits, delving deeper into opposing viewpoints can provide a more balanced response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the essay is generally cohesive, refining transitions can enhance the flow and make your arguments even clearer.
task achievement
Revisit the balance of general statements and specific examples. While your general points are strong, incorporating a few more specific instances would better illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Double-check for minor grammatical or stylistic errors to ensure your writing is as polished as possible. Consistently correct language usage will elevate your score.
coherence cohesion
Solid, clear structure: The essay maintains a logical flow from introduction to conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
Strong task response: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the debate and provides a personal opinion, which is well supported.
task achievement
Excellent use of specific example: Mentioning Red Bull's investment adds weight to your argument and demonstrates your point effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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