The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.

The bar chart illustrates how much money was spent on different
products
Use synonyms
in Germany, Italy, France, and Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
, money was spent on photographic
film
Use synonyms
and toys more than
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
products
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the British were the biggest spenders in all six categories among the nations compared in the bar chart,
while
Linking Words
Germany spent the least. In detail, Britain had the highest spending levels
of
Check wording
apply
show examples
products
Use synonyms
on photographic
film
Use synonyms
(more than 170 million pounds),
while
Linking Words
a similar amount
of spend
Wrong verb form
was spent
show examples
on personal stereos and tennis racquets
was least
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
,
French
Replace the word
France
had the second highest spending on CDs, toys, and photographic
film
Use synonyms
of all
other
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
four European countries, but it had
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
spending on perfumes, tennis racquets, and personal stereos. The Italians spent more money on toys than
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
products
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
also
Linking Words
spent more on photographic
film
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the Germans spent the least
overall
Linking Words
, and
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
spending was similar at all six
products
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, overall, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words products, film with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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