IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

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In some societies belive that if young people want to achieve something, they will need hard
practicing
Replace the word
practice
.
Although
Linking Words
 children can go to their targets with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard practice, sometimes they can choose
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 path, which children don’t have enough potential to achieve their targets.In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks
under
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic.

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task response
Write a full answer to both sides of the topic. Say what is good and what is bad in a clear way.
task response
Add one or two simple examples to support your ideas.
task response
Make your main idea very clear in each sentence. Some parts are hard to understand now.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear plan: intro, one body part for benefits, one body part for drawbacks, and a short end.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, so, because, first, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some ideas are mixed, so the reader must guess your meaning.
task response
You answer the topic and show both benefits and drawbacks.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and you tell the reader what the essay will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic logical flow from topic to your opinion about two sides.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perseverance
  • Resilience
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Goal-setting
  • Work ethic
  • Ambitious
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Frustration
  • Inadequate
  • Overemphasis
  • Stress
  • Pressure
  • Mental health
  • Resource availability
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