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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
The past century witnessed an increasing significance of education. Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate regarding whether
parents
Use synonyms
 or
schools
Use synonyms
shuold
Correct your spelling
should
 teach
children
Use synonyms
 how to be good members of our society. As far as I am concerned,
both
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 and
schools
Use synonyms
 play crucial roles.
Body · 1
People who think that
parents
Use synonyms
shuold
Correct your spelling
should
 take primary responsibility contend that
parents
Use synonyms
 could make
earlier
Correct article usage
an earlier
show examples
 and
Linking Words
further
Correct word choice
greater
show examples
 influence on the value formation of
children
Use synonyms
. Before
children
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 attend school, it is
parents
Use synonyms
 who
company
Use the right word
accompany
show examples
 and teach their kid everyday. Human beings are born with a remarkably strong capacity to imitate.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should act as role models and help their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 establish long-term behaviour stability.
Body · 2
From another perspective, some people believe that
schools
Use synonyms
 are more influential, because they consider
schools
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
 the primary place for
children
Use synonyms
’s
socialization
Change the spelling
socialisation
show examples
.
Children
Use synonyms
 could cultivate their ability
of cooperation
Replace the word
to cooperate
 and
conversation
Replace the word
converse
.
For example
Linking Words
, students have to engage in collaborative projects, where they must listen
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
 members’ viewpoints carefully and exchange their own opinions to complete group tasks more effectively. The whole process will cultivate their sense of responsibility and set up the short-term behaviour regulation.
Body · 3
In my opinion,
parents
Use synonyms
 and
schools
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 perform different functions, but
both
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 are indispensable.
While
Linking Words
 families are mainly responsible for establishing
children
Use synonyms
’s moral foundations,
schools
Use synonyms
 help them apply these values in wider social contexts.
Conclusion
Based on the statements above,
both
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 and
schools
Use synonyms
 are equally important.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that responsibility for
children
Use synonyms
’s social education should be shared by
both
Use synonyms
 families and educational institutions.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You do this, but each side needs a little more detail.
task response
Give your own view more clearly in the body, not only in the intro and end.
task response
Use one more clear example to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly between some sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. A few sentences feel a bit short or not fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear reference words carefully so the reader can follow every idea easily.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
The group work example is relevant and easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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