Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the way in which
children
Use synonyms
learn to be good members of
society
Use synonyms
. Whether
children
Use synonyms
should be taught by
parents
Use synonyms
or taught at
school
Use synonyms
is a controversial issue. In my view, they are both vital for teaching
children
Use synonyms
.
Parents
Use synonyms
'
education
Use synonyms
plays a vital role in
children
Use synonyms
's ethical cultivation. As
children
Use synonyms
spend a lot of time with their
parents
Use synonyms
when they are young, they can observe and imitate their
parents
Use synonyms
' habits.
This
Linking Words
allows them to start to study how to do well in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in some families,
children
Use synonyms
are told to do some tasks by cooperating with their
parents
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
can improve
children
Use synonyms
's interpersonal ability by building their
communicational
Replace the word
communication
and
cooperational
Replace the word
cooperation
skills when they are young. So,
this
Linking Words
suggests that
parents
Use synonyms
'
education
Use synonyms
is crucial to
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's ethical values in their early
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, without
school
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
won't have a
chance
Use synonyms
to
take a
Verb problem
apply
show examples
practice .
This
Linking Words
means that
children
Use synonyms
may not know how to
act
Use synonyms
when they
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
mature.
School
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
is required to ensure that
children
Use synonyms
have a
chance
Use synonyms
to know how to
act
Use synonyms
in
society
Use synonyms
. As
children
Use synonyms
study in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
, they can build their ethical Principles deeply
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
teachers'
education
Use synonyms
, and interact with others.
This
Linking Words
allows them to know how to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who can get along well with others, and do not break the rules. If
children
Use synonyms
don't have a
chance
Use synonyms
to study at
school
Use synonyms
, they will be confused about how to
act
Use synonyms
with others, and
do
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
not know what they can't do in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
the absence of trying when they are young. So that's why
school
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
plays an important role in
children
Use synonyms
's awareness of rules. In conclusion,
parents
Use synonyms
exert an earlier and deeper impact on
children
Use synonyms
’s awareness of ethics,
while
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
provides a
chance
Use synonyms
for
children
Use synonyms
to try to
act
Use synonyms
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
of
society
Use synonyms
.So, in my view,
parents
Use synonyms
'
education
Use synonyms
should take precedence ,with
school
Use synonyms
serving as a supplementary role.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more clearly. You talk about parents and school, but the school side needs a bit more detail.
task response
Give a clearer opinion from the start. Your view is there, but it changes a little between paragraph 1 and the end.
task response
Use more specific examples. The family example is helpful, but the school paragraph needs a real example too.
coherence and cohesion
Make some ideas simpler and more direct. A few sentences are hard to follow because they are too long.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like 'however', 'for instance', and 'so' are good, but sometimes the link is not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main point with one clear idea and one clear result. This will make your essay easier to read.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The main idea of each paragraph is easy to see.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: