some students prefer to study in a university located away from their hometown. Others prefer to stay and study in their hometown.

Many
students
Use synonyms
think it is better to study abroad,
while
Linking Words
others believe
is
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
has many difficulties. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand,
students
Use synonyms
who decide to study abroad need financial support because they have to rent an apartment near their college.
In addition
Linking Words
, they should allocate a budget for food and transportation.
Besides
Linking Words
, they need to create a savings account for emergencies.
As a result
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
start working part-time to afford living expenses.
For example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
students
Fix capitalization
Students
show examples
work in a supermarket to earn money and cover their expenses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
experience helps
students
Use synonyms
become more independent. They have to learn how to manage their budget.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will deal with life problems and adapt to a new society by themselves.
As a result
Linking Words
, they become more flexible, which may increase their opportunities to succeed.
For example
Linking Words
, research shows that
students
Use synonyms
who study abroad have a higher probability of achieving their goals. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
studying far away from their home may be a challenge, I believe the advantages
such
Linking Words
as strengthening their
personality
Punctuation problem
personality,
show examples
outweigh the disadvantages.

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task response
Use the same topic all through the essay. You start with study abroad, but the task is about study away from hometown or stay in hometown.
task response
Add one full idea about students who stay in their hometown. This will make both sides clear and fair.
task response
Give more clear examples. One example is not finished, and the research example is too general.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are good, but your first body paragraph talks about problems, not one side of the question clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point stronger with one extra sentence of support or result.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the end.
task response
You explain one good benefit of living away from home: students become more independent.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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