IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future To what extent to you agree or disagree with this statement ?

It's argued that saving
money
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 for
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future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is
benefictel
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beneficial
 for everyone.
In addition
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,
of
Correct determiner usage
the
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 young generation .
This
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 essay agrees with the statement. Cause it leads minors to learn how to use
money
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 in the right way.
Besides
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, planning for their significant
future
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.
Firstly
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, younger people tend to think of
money
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 as an
effortless
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effortlessly
 gained
suplement
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supplement
. Which makes them use it in
uncorrect
Use the right word
incorrect
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 ways. And
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 by saving up
money
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 at an early age .It
help
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helps
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 knowing the importance of spending
money
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 and wasting it
in
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on
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 needed elements.
For instance
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, I personally save the
money
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 my father lends me for a school cafeteria. And, use it
instead
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 when I am in need of
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
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 purchase.
Secondly
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, a great
future
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 a person
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that
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who
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 is
well being
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well-being
 around
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
money
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. You can't just gain
knowlage
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knowledge
 of how to save
money
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 at an adult age,
You
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you
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 need
background
Correct article usage
a background
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 of usage. And, to
confess to
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achieve
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 an excellent
future
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you
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, you
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 need a budget so you could acheive everything planned without worrying about where to gain
moneyfrom
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money from
.
For example
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,
My
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my
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 friend had a dream to open a hair salon. She never gave up on that dream and started saving up extra remains of her montly paid
money
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 from parents. And, ended up truly
ganning
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gaining
 a good amount of
money
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 for her hair salon.
To conclude
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,
Money
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 is truly an important structure in our lives.
Although
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,
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apply
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 it may seem hard. But when you
begain
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begin
 at an early
age
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age,
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 it
get
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gets
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 easier
through out
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throughout
 the adventure.
Especailly
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Especially
 when you have a
brigth
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bright
 plan for yourself and
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future
Correct determiner usage
your future
show examples
. And, spending
money
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 useful purchases.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part.
task response
Make your main ideas more clear and explain them step by step.
task response
Use examples, but make them short and very clear.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, so, and because.
coherence and cohesion
Do not start many sentences with And or But.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph.
task response
You gave a clear opinion and stayed on the same side.
task response
You used personal examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow in most parts.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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