Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the development of novel technologies and tendencies, modern individuals are more into

concerning

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

arts and human creativity. In that

aspect

Use synonyms

easthetic

Correct your spelling

aesthetic

subjects have become a topic of concern in

educational

Correct article usage

the educational

show examples

sector ,and

according to

Linking Words

the enthusiasts,

such

Linking Words

concepts should be core subjects in

learning

Correct article usage

the learning

show examples

scope. From my perspective, the trend is considered a double-edged sword ,which reflects both pros and cons.

To begin

Linking Words

, the positive

aspect

Use synonyms

of the trend sheds light on its constructive nature. More importantly,

due to

Linking Words

the competitiveness in the modern educational aspects, young learners have improved pressure and stressful

condition

Check wording

conditions

show examples

. It is worth mentioning the fact that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

students are

pursuaded

Correct your spelling

persuaded

to career-oriented pathways in secondary schools ,which has paved the way for youngsters with lethargic

attituded

Replace the word

attitudes

and less imagination skills.

Futher

Correct your spelling

Further

, painting and drawing activities would be a great relaxation technique for

such

Linking Words

young learners.

For example

Linking Words

, one study found

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

that psychologies pointout that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

artistic activities can balance the brain chemicals of young

leraners

Correct your spelling

learners

,which could rejuvenate and reenergise them to boost their academic skills

On the contrary

Linking Words

, the trend

showcase

Correct subject-verb agreement

showcases

show examples

its negative outcomes as well. More interestingly, the

world

Use synonyms

has become a global village ,which

relys

Correct your spelling

relies

on modern science and technology. In that

aspect

Use synonyms

undergarduates

Correct your spelling

undergraduates

should be guided to grab and absorb

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

demanding and career-oriented pathways.

Further

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

academic areas

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

created lavish job opportunities ,which pave the way for sustainable development around the

world

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, students should be provided ample

time

Use synonyms

and infrastructure facilities to get access to scientific and technological

learnings

Check wording

learning

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

, they do not have extra

time

Use synonyms

to spend

for

Change preposition

show examples

alternative academic areas.

For example

Linking Words

, first

world

Use synonyms

countries

such

Linking Words

as Japan, the USA , Australia ,and other

european

Fix capitalization

European

show examples

countries have focused their secondary and

tertury

Correct your spelling

tertiary

educational pathways

according to

Linking Words

the most demanding fields around the

world

Use synonyms

. In that

aspect

Use synonyms

, they have secured high scores in global human development indexes. Looking from an

overall

Linking Words

perspective, it is evident that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

'Change is inevitable'. In that

Use synonyms

aspect

Add a comma

aspect,

show examples

every educational professional, student ,and

activistics

Check wording

activist

show examples

should step forward to understand the most essential

scholary

Correct your spelling

scholarly

aspects to encourage modern students.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, proper instructional

reformations

Replace the word

reforms

and plans should be introduced to ensure the upward mobility of civilians.

On the other hand

Linking Words

undergarduates

Correct your spelling

undergraduates

should be taught effective

time

Use synonyms

management techniques to mould their

characterristics

Correct your spelling

characteristics

and skills to safeguard their future vocational opportunities to conquer the

world

Use synonyms

, and at the same

time

Use synonyms

develop their mother countries.

prrandulaperera

Mar 29, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Make your main view more clear in the first part. You say it has both good and bad sides, but the task asks how far you agree or disagree.

task response

Answer the question in a direct way in each body part. Show why you agree, disagree, or partly agree.

task response

Use examples that are clear and easy to trust. Some examples now are too general.

coherence and cohesion

Put one main idea in each paragraph, and explain it step by step.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple link words like first, also, however, and so. Some lines now are hard to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Check how one sentence joins to the next one. A few ideas jump too fast.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear essay shape with an opening, body paragraphs, and an ending.

task response

You try to discuss both sides of the topic, which shows range of thought.

task response

You use examples to support ideas, which helps your answer.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

400 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

artistic expression
communication
self-expression
creativity
critical thinking skills
cultural appreciation
understanding
therapeutic benefits
mental well-being
career opportunities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing debate about whether younger generations should be required to take full-time education until when they become 18 years old or not. Certainly, the educational system plays an essential role in various societal aspects of our daily lives. Hence, in this essay, I will explain the reasons why I believe that younger people should accept this fundamental rule even though they genuinely hate studying.
6.5
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Due to increasing animal testing, many wildlife crusaders pose an objection, demanding laws against it. While another school of thought points out, that it is crucial to not rule out its role in game-changing scientific advancements. With regard to this, for a long time these tests have proven to be most reliable, and decrease margins of errors. Currently, due to the unavailability and poor results of alternate methods, tests on other species have become a necessary evil.
6.5
band
The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?
At the moment there are more than eight billion humans in the entire world.This is probably the main problem we are facing nowadays.Analyzing why improvements in medical and technological fields lead to this situation.Sadly, this is the most challenging issue we have ever faced as a society, more than all famines and wars combined.
7.5
band
Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that has scientifically been proved to have bad effects on people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In recent years, concerns about food safety have prompted some governments to remove certain products from local markets. While some people argue that banning scientifically proven unhealthy foods would improve public well-being, others believe this policy would negatively affect lower-income groups. In my opinion, a complete prohibition is unrealistic and carries more disadvantages than benefits.
6.5
band
Most modern families have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problems can this cause?
There is no denying the fact that in most modern families, parents are fully occupied with work, which results in them spending less time with their kids. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this controversial topic and what issues this can cause.

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that has scientifically been proved to have bad effects on people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Most modern families have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problems can this cause?