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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use

The bar charts
indicates
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicate
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 the differences in the
vists
Correct your spelling
visits
 to a society
website
Use synonyms
 between the
first
Use synonyms
 and second
year
Use synonyms
. It shows a clear decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
vistors throgh
Correct your spelling
visitors through
 the two years. Starting with the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
, there is a slight variation among the webpages. In the
first
Use synonyms
 place comes
website
Use synonyms
 10 and 2 with
abour 40.000
Correct your spelling
about 40,000
visitors
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. In the second place
ranging
Punctuation problem
, ranging
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 between 30.000 to less than 40.000 users
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 websites 8, 9, 11 and 6. Websites 7, 3 and 5 got 20.000 or more. In the
last
Linking Words
 place
placed
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
website
Use synonyms
 4
with
Verb problem
had
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 about 15.000
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the other hand, the highest visited webpage in the second
year
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 about 21.000
Use synonyms
visitors
Punctuation problem
visitors,
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 is
number
Use synonyms
 4.
Wereas
Correct your spelling
Whereas
 the lowest achieved
number
Use synonyms
 was about 6.000 people visiting
website
Use synonyms
 4.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 experienced a great
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people visiting these websites
dramticaly droped
Correct your spelling
dramatically dropped
 in the following
year
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words website, first, year, number, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • visits
  • number
  • bar
  • chart
  • year
  • first year
  • second year
  • more
  • less
  • higher
  • lower
  • highest
  • lowest
  • total
  • average
  • increase
  • rise
  • grow
  • up
  • down
  • change
  • pattern
  • trend
  • compare
  • across
  • in
  • to
  • from
  • during
  • year one
  • year two
  • largest
  • smallest
  • top
  • bottom
  • within
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