IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts show time spent by students on different types of websites.

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The pie chart compares the average
time
Use synonyms
 that male and female
students
Use synonyms
 spend
time
Use synonyms
 on several types of
websites
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it's clear that male
students
Use synonyms
 spent the largest average of their
time
Use synonyms
 on just three
websites
Use synonyms
, namely sport, study and news.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of other
websites
Use synonyms
 was the same
rate
Use synonyms
 as that of female
students
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 females, the most popular category was study. The greatest average
time
Use synonyms
 that female
students
Use synonyms
 spent after study was shopping at 20%,
while
Linking Words
 males'
rate
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
 category was just 5% , which represents the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 for boys. Female
students
Use synonyms
 spent only 10% for sport
websites
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of spending by male
students
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
 category was the highest at 35%.
Amount
Correct article usage
The amount
show examples
 of
spending
Replace the word
apply
time
Use synonyms
 on news
websites
Use synonyms
 among females was slightly lower at about 15%, compared to males at 20%. In both cases, the proportion of spending on other
websites
Use synonyms
 was the same. Males and Females spent 10% of their
time
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, students, websites, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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