In some countries, parents want their children to focus on their studies only. Because of this, many young people do not get their first job until after college. In other countries, many children get their first part-time job while still in high school. Which approach do you think is better? Why?

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With the development of novel technologies and

tendencies

Check wording

trends

show examples

in educational and

career

Use synonyms

aspects, parents are more into concerning about their children. In that aspect, some of them avoid employing opportunities

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

working.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, modern parents tend to direct their youngsters to

possess

Verb problem

pursue

show examples

job opportunities. From my perspective,

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

money

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

studying is apparently beneficial in

this

Linking Words

competitive present context,

Linking Words

due to

Correct word choice

show examples

the trend paves the way for numerous positive outcomes.

To begin

Linking Words

, as I aforementioned,

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

financial outcomes,

while

Linking Words

focusing on an academic

Use synonyms

career

Punctuation problem

career,

show examples

is literally advantageous, because it paves the way for achieving not only the theoretical practice, but

also

Linking Words

the practical aspects. It is worth mentioning the fact that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

present results-oriented working culture

thoroughly

Verb problem

is thoroughly

show examples

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

about

performance

Correct article usage

the performance

show examples

of workers, and they tend to welcome talented individuals with

inter-personal

Correct your spelling

interpersonal

skills and cognitive

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, which

beyond

Verb problem

goes beyond

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

paper

qualification

Check wording

qualifications

show examples

. In that aspect, students

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who naturally engage with external working settings are able to secure a high degree of capabilities and

potentials

Check wording

potential

show examples

, which can

mold

Change the spelling

mould

show examples

their characteristics to become high-end

professionals

Use synonyms

in the future.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

psychologists, young learners

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who have been encouraged to align with

employment

Correct article usage

the employment

show examples

sector

in their

Change preposition

at a

show examples

young age

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

tend to enhance their self-confidence to rise above destructive circumstances around them. It is worth mentioning the fact that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

undergraduates are able to achieve invaluable inter-personal skills

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

through occupying. More importantly, communication skills, interaction with others, quick decision making, money and time management techniques, and contemporary awareness about the world are a few benefits

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

that they can possess by being young

professionals

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

personalities are directed to grab and absorb novel business ideas, that most suitable and demanding

career

Use synonyms

pathways for their

further

Linking Words

education.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

recent research, young

professionals

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who

worked

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

completing their academic levels

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

are more into climbing

Use synonyms

career

Correct article usage

the career

show examples

ladder immediately. Looking from an

overall

Linking Words

perspective, it is evident that, ‘’Change is inevitable’’. In that aspect, every student, parent, and educational

Use synonyms

professionals

Fix the agreement mistake

professional

show examples

should step forward to understand the merits of starting vocational aspects, even in early age.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, governing bodies should develop infrastructure facilities

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and

further

Linking Words

arrangements to ensure a talented workforce in the nations to mitigate challenges and conquer the world.

prrandulaperera

Apr 1, 2026

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task response

Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why part-time work during school is better, and compare it with study only.

task response

Use simpler and clearer main ideas. Some ideas are hard to follow because the meaning is not always clear.

task response

Give one or two real and clear examples. Your examples now are very general.

coherence and cohesion

Make each paragraph have one main point only. This will help your ideas move in a clear way.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words in a simple way, like first, also, for example, and in conclusion. Do not overuse long phrases.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order and grammar, because some sentences are hard to understand and this affects flow.

task response

You give a clear opinion that working while studying is better.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

You try to support your view with reasons about skills, confidence, and future work.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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In some countries, parents want their children to focus on their studies only. Because of this, many young people do not get their first job until after college. In other countries, many children get their first part-time job while still in high school. Which approach do you think is better? Why?

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are by robots. Is this a positive or negative development ?

ich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people all over the world are spending more and more time apart from their families. Why is this happening? How does this affect people and their families?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?