IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or nagative development?

This
Linking Words
 topic
in the recent period of time
Verb problem
has been
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 one of the most
discussing
Replace the word
discussed
 topics
between
Punctuation problem
in recent times. It
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, it has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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some positive development
sides
Use synonyms
 and
in
Change preposition
, on
show examples
 the other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
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 it has a some negative development
sides
Use synonyms
, it's
Punctuation problem
. It
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 depends
in which way will
Change preposition
on how
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people
Use synonyms
 handle
with
Change preposition
apply
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it, and
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will
explane
Correct your spelling
explain
 my reasons in
this
Linking Words
discuss
Replace the word
discussion
. One of
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
sides
Use synonyms
 of shopping
groceries
Change preposition
for groceries
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 from
around
Rephrase
apply
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all over the world from the nearest supermarket
from
Change preposition
to
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 the person's house. some
people
Use synonyms
 has a allergic from some foods and some
people
Use synonyms
 has some special preferring of types of food I see they can enjoy
while
Linking Words
 eating their favorite food but with some products came from a different countries, as an example, my grandmother has diabetes and she loves eating chocolate so much, but we don't have a lot of chocolate choices for the
people
Use synonyms
 like her, so in the supermarket we found some chocolates that she can eat it without thinking if it will rase the sugar level in her blood. In the other hand, there is some negative
sides
Use synonyms
, one of them is the addicting teenagers of some snacks that has a bad effect on their health. as an example there is a popular snack between teenagers these days has the Red 40, the Red 40 is a very dangerous ingredient its added in
this
Linking Words
 popular snacks, and they don't care about it, they just want go on
this
Linking Words
 wave. In conclusion,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 depends
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 you
will chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 the product that will come to your house. If you will use it to bring it for a serious reason and good reason
like
Correct word choice
, as
show examples
 I
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussed
show examples
 before, or you will use it to destroy your health.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. Say if this is mostly good or mostly bad.
task response
Keep your main idea the same in all the essay. Now your view changes and is not fully clear.
task response
Add one more clear reason for each side, and explain each reason more.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words like First, Also, However, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some sentences are hard to follow.
task response
You answered the topic and talked about both good and bad sides.
task response
You gave real examples, like your grandmother and snacks for teens.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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