Gorvernments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People remain divided over the extent to which
railways
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contribute to a more beneficial infrastructure.
While
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some argue that governments should invest in
railways
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instead
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of
roads
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, others contend the opposite idea. I totally agree with the former perspective, and
this
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essay will prove
this
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idea with the help of examples and provide a logical conclusion. Some compelling arguments show that
railways
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can be utilised for many purposes
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as public transportation, logistics, and military operations, and they can undoubtedly be more effective than roadways.
For example
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, using metro lines can not only reduce air pollution but
also
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reduce traffic congestion.
Moreover
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,
railways
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are essential for transporting military personnel and vehicles
such
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as tanks.
In addition
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, vehicles that move on rails inevitably possess more capacity than road vehicles.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that
railways
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are outdated since if one part of a railway is damaged, all traffic on that line stops. Regarding previous events, repairing
railways
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takes more time compared to
roads
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, and it is more expensive than road maintenance.
Although
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trains and metros play a crucial role, they cannot be used by every individual to access all places.
Besides
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this
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,
roads
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are a major source of revenue for governments, as they collect taxes from every vehicle. In conclusion,
railways
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have more advantages than
roads
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when they are compared in terms of cost, capacity, speed, and military use.
Therefore
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, I believe that governments should allocate more resources to
railways
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.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. One body part should support railways, and the other should explain why roads are less good, then clearly show why your view is stronger.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some links are good, but a few ideas move too fast, so the reader may need more help to follow your point.
task achievement
Add one or two more clear examples. Your metro example is good, but the ideas about military use, repair cost, and tax need more support.
task achievement
Answer the question more directly all through the essay. The task asks 'to what extent', so keep showing strong agreement in each main part.
task achievement
Explain comparisons more clearly. You say railways are better for cost, speed, and capacity, but some of these points are not fully developed.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical order, and the reader can follow your main line of thought.
task achievement
You answer the task and give a clear opinion from the start.
task achievement
You use a relevant example about metro lines to support your view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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