IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that preserving the natural environment is vital, whereas, most make no effort to do so. Why do you think this is happening? What are some simple actions that could help the environment? e

In the
fast-pace
Replace the word
fast-paced
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is important to preserve the natural habitat and they are giving their 100% to make things work. But not all individuals think alike. Many
people
Use synonyms
 know the environment is important, but they feel their small actions do not change anything. Because of
this
Linking Words
, they do nothing and wait for governments or big companies to act. Modern life is busy and built on comfort.
People
Use synonyms
 often choose cheap, fast, and easy options
such
Linking Words
 as plastic bags, private cars, and
too much
Correct word choice
excessive
show examples
 buying, even if these harm nature. Some
people
Use synonyms
 do not see environmental damage in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. If the air looks fine and the streets are clean, they may not understand how serious problems like climate change, water pollution, and loss of animals are. A simple way to help is to reduce waste.
People
Use synonyms
 can use cloth bags, reusable bottles, and lunch boxes, and they can avoid buying things they do not need.
People
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 save energy and water at home.
For example
Linking Words
, they can turn off lights, walk or cycle for short trips, take shorter showers, and use less air conditioning. Communities and schools can make green habits easier. They can add more bins for recycling, plant trees, clean parks, and teach children simple ways to protect nature.

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task response
Write a clearer first line. Your first line says some people give their 100%, but the task says most people make no effort. This makes your main idea less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Add a short end part to sum up your answer. A clear last line can make the whole essay feel more complete.
task response
Give one or two more clear real life examples. This can make your ideas stronger and more full.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words a bit more, like first, also, as a result, and in this way. This can make the flow smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main part has one clear focus. This helps the reader follow your ideas with ease.
task response
You answer both parts of the task: why this happens and what simple actions can help.
task response
Your ideas are easy to understand and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear middle structure, with one part on causes and one part on actions.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple examples like cloth bags, bottles, walking, and tree planting. These help your points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural environment
  • preserve nature
  • make an effort
  • environmental damage
  • climate change
  • air pollution
  • water pollution
  • loss of wildlife
  • daily habits
  • public awareness
  • sense of responsibility
  • easy and cheap choices
  • single-use plastic
  • reduce waste
  • reusable bag
  • save energy
  • save water
  • turn off lights
  • public transport
  • plant trees
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