IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is predicted that an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 will choose to spend
Use synonyms
holiday
Correct determiner usage
their holiday
show examples
 in their
home
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of travelling abroad. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because travelling
home
Use synonyms
 during vacation will enable them
spend
Verb problem
to spend
show examples
 quality
time
Use synonyms
 with family members,
as well as
Linking Words
 reconnect with their
culture
Use synonyms
 and enjoy traditional experiences.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the reasons why
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will prefer to vacation in their own
country
Use synonyms
 is to spend
time
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 with family. Some
people
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 may live in a different
country
Use synonyms
 or continent away from their families
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
holiday
Correct article usage
the holiday
show examples
 season offers them
time
Use synonyms
 to visit their
country
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, spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 and strengthen their bond with their family.
For instance
Linking Words
, Nigerians abroad are known to always travel back
home
Use synonyms
 during festive periods to spend
time
Use synonyms
 and celebrate with family members.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can maintain
close
Correct article usage
a close
show examples
 family bond and enjoy the company of relatives despite living
faraway
Correct your spelling
far away
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, spending
Use synonyms
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
 in their
country
Use synonyms
 of origin is a way to reacquaint themselves with their
culture
Use synonyms
 and relish traditional experiences. Some individuals are deeply rooted in
Use synonyms
culture
Correct article usage
a culture
show examples
 that they may not want to lose or miss out on any cultural festival in order not to lose their cultural heritage.
For example
Linking Words
. Koreans prefer to travel
home
Use synonyms
 for chuseok festival yearly in order to pay respect to their ancestors and
also
Linking Words
 eat traditionally made foods.
This
Linking Words
 way
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
 can always be in touch with their traditions and not lose their legacy. In conclusion, in the long term, a significant number of
people
Use synonyms
 will decide to spend
Use synonyms
holiday
Correct article usage
the holiday
show examples
 season in their own
country
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of visiting
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 countries. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because it offers a way to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with
famity
Correct your spelling
family
as well as
Linking Words
 immerse themselves deeply into their
culture
Use synonyms
 in order not to lose their customs.

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task response
Make your main idea more exact. Say why home trips may be more common in the future, not only why they are good now.
task response
Add one more clear reason about money, ease, or safety to make your answer stronger.
task response
Explain each example a bit more so the link to your main point is easier to see.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some parts can join more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Check small grammar and word form errors because they can make the flow less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body paragraph and develop it in a balanced way.
task response
You clearly answer the question and show your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
The family example and the Korean festival example are relevant and easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
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