IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter. Describe the problem with the equipment Explain how this problem is affecting your work Say what you want the shop or company to do

Dear Manager, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in good health. I am writing to express my concern regarding a problem which I am facing with the
headphone
Use synonyms
 that I bought from your company
last
Linking Words
 month. One side of the
headphone
Use synonyms
 is not functioning properly, and I am not able to hear the sound clearly. I am using
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these headphones
show examples
headphone
Use synonyms
 for my office
work
Use synonyms
. I
work
Use synonyms
 online
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I have to attend virtual meetings
everyday
Rephrase
every day
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 issue, I am not able to communicate properly with my clients
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is affecting my reputation at
work
Use synonyms
. I have a
1 year
Correct your spelling
1-year
 warranty for
this
Linking Words
 equipment.
Linking Words
THerefore
Fix capitalization
Therefore
show examples
, I would request your company to please replace
this
Linking Words
headphone
Use synonyms
 and provide me with a new one urgently, so that I can resume my
work
Use synonyms
 properly. My
waranty
Correct your spelling
warranty
 number is 1245. I am looking forward to a prompt response to
this
Linking Words
 matter. Sincerely, Anum

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task response
For task response: add a bit more detail about the problem, like when it started and if you tried anything to fix it.
task response
For task response: your request is clear, but you can also ask how soon they can send a new one.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your ideas are in a clear order, but you can use more link words like 'because', 'so', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: check small word errors like 'THerefore' and 'waranty' because they can make reading less smooth.
task response
For task response: you answered all parts of the question.
task response
For task response: the tone is polite and right for a letter to a company.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: each paragraph has one main idea.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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