IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individuals and society as a whole?

In recent years, the development of
technology
Use synonyms
 has brought us
the life
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apply
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more convenience
.
Change preposition
in our lives.
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 We can easily finish everything through the Internet
but
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, but
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 not
face to face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
 like before.
This
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 issue truly has a multitude of negatives
but
Correct word choice
apply
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besides
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,
it
Correct word choice
but it
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 has
given
Rephrase
also given
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 a lot of positives.
This
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 essay will explore more about the above problems.
First,
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we will discuss the negatives
when we use
Change preposition
of using
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 online types for jobs. In fact, some workers have a
habitat
Check wording
habit
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 for work just through their
screen computer
Correct word order
computer screen
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, they don’t have to go out and communicate with
someone
Correct pronoun usage
anyone
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, which leads to plenty of problems like stress or some disease in their life.
For instance
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, so many individuals have a business on the computer, they curb
for
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apply
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outdoor or maintain physical and party activities
,
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.
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This
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 trend has been happening for many years and leads to some syndromes like depression or overload
even
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, even
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 madness
but
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, but
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 no alternative methods right
way
Use the right word
away
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.
On the other hand
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, using
technology
Use synonyms
 for work has brought a lot of positives. There are various individuals who have jobs at
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
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home
but
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, but
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 they always use
technology
Use synonyms
 in the right way.
This
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 can be seen
,
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apply
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 in plenty of lands,
the
Correct word choice
where the
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 populations have used their time to work on the Internet in a suitable way.
Moreover
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, Thanks to
technology
Use synonyms
, they can communicate with their family
,
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apply
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 and friends
and
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, and
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 they gain a multitude of benefits
but
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, but
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not
Verb problem
do not
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go
Verb problem
have to go
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 out.
For example
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, in progressive countries, the government has many sustainable policies for helping and encouraging their citizen when
their citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 do everything on the Internet.
As a result
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, the citizen always
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 their time for working
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 helps them save a multitude of time and money.
In addition
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, they have a lot of hours for meeting, chatting and entertaining through the screen but not moving out. In conclusion, working through online types but not meeting together has positive or negative
, it
Check wording
effects, it
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 lies in the perspective of each individual when they have the knowledge of it. That goes hand in hand
,
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apply
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 with the government should have sustainable and suitable rules that have the purpose of creating a
society better and better
Correct word order
better society
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.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: say what happens to people and what happens to society.
task response
Give one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it more.
task response
Use examples that are real and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Some sentences are hard to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same focus. Do not move from shopping and banking to only work.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to discuss both good and bad effects.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like first, for instance, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
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