IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Successful companies use advertisements to make more sales. What can make an advertisement effective? Do you think advertisements are a bad thing or a good thing for society?

The first step for an effective advertisement is the connection created between the piece and
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
. For
this
Linking Words
 to
happen
Punctuation problem
happen,
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 it is
needed,
Replace the word
necessary
therefore
Linking Words
, to know the preferences of
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 going to receive that message.
For example
Linking Words
, if the advertisement is about diapers,
then
Linking Words
 it's necessary
a
Verb problem
to conduct a
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survey to understand what are the main difficulties parents face when they have to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 and buy diapers for their kids. What matters most?
Long
Correct word choice
Long-lasting
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last
Linking Words
 protection, a gentle material for sensitive skin or a good cost-benefit? From that survey, the team responsible for the
commecial
Correct your spelling
commercial
 will be capable to link that content with what, in fact, is going to connect parents, babies and diapers, creating a strong connection and possible action after the campaign. In my
pont
Correct your spelling
point
 of view, advertisements can either be a good thing or a bad thing, and it depends on how they are built and what it brings to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a lot of propaganda that can be educational, informative and necessary,
while
Linking Words
 others can be purely made to trigger an unresponsible consumism.
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
 why
it its
Use the right word
it's
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 so important to have regulations and basic rules in the publicity industry, so that
this
Linking Words
 tool does not
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 a mere instrument of capitalism, but it can, in fact, perform a function of utility and information for society.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain what makes an ad work well, but your view on ads in society needs one more clear main idea.
task response
Make your opinion very clear early and keep it the same. Say if ads are mostly good, mostly bad, or both, and explain why.
task response
Add one more specific example for the second part, such as a health ad or an ad that pushes people to buy too much.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic lines at the start of each part so the reader can follow your plan more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, next, for example, on the other hand, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Some parts are hard to follow because the sentence is too long. Split long sentences into two shorter ones.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your diaper example is clear and fits the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use cause and result ideas well, such as survey, connection, and action after the campaign.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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