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Writing Samples
Band 6

THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOWS THE STRUCTURE OF A HOME SMOKERY AND HOW IT WORKS

The provided diagram illustrates the design and operational process of a home smokery, which is used for preserving
food
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the home smokery
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
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 of three primary interconnected sections, with the majority of the structure situated below ground level. The operation follows a simple, linear process that begins with the intake of fresh
air
Use synonyms
 to fuel an underground
fire
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, followed by the generation of
smoke
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, and concludes with the smoking of
food
Use synonyms
 items in an above-ground
chamber
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. Looking at the first two stages of the structure, the
systems
Fix the agreement mistake
system
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 begins with an
air
Use synonyms
 intake mechanism (Section 1). Fresh
air
Use synonyms
drawn
Verb problem
is drawn
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 from the surface down into an underground shaft, which is partially covered
y
Correct your spelling
by
 a slanted lid.
This
Linking Words
air
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 flows horizontally into the second section, which functions as the combustion
chamber
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.
This
Linking Words
 central pit is entirely subterranean, sealed securely by a flat lid at ground level, and contains a stack of wooden logs. A
fire
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 is maintained at the base of
this
Linking Words
chamber
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, and the incoming fresh
air
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 provides the necessary
oxugen
Correct your spelling
oxygen
 to keep the
fire
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 burning and produce
smoke
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. Moving to the final stage (Section 3), a narrow, diagonal pipe connects the bottom of the
fire
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 pit to the main smoking
chamber
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. The
smoke
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 generated from the burning logs is
channeled
Change the spelling
channelled
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 up the pipe and enters a rectangular box situated entirely above ground level. Inside
this
Linking Words
 box,
food
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 items
such
Linking Words
 as fish and meat are suspended from
ceiling
Correct article usage
the ceiling
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. As the
smoke
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 rises and fills the box, it cures the hanging
food
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, completing the process.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, air, fire, smoke, chamber with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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