IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents,for instance for sport or music,and others are not.However,it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. discuss both these views and give your opinions.

From my
viewpoint
Add a comma
viewpoint,
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 I think lots of individuals possess their incredible skills from
their born
Replace the word
birth
, and definitely youth
also
Linking Words
 might improve their abilities as they grow
mainly
Punctuation problem
, mainly
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 because of
produced
Correct article usage
the produced
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 pheromone upgrading every child's activity twice
better than
Correct word choice
as well as
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 adults. And I would keep my mind on the second opinion. I suggest young
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
 are amazing
in
Change preposition
at
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 growing up.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 examples of both sides,
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 one popping up is
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that students usually have brains very young and quick
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 it generates lots of energy, and to reduce that body puts effort into spending it into an leisure activity, and usually
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 becomes a game for
inner
Correct article usage
the inner
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 children of adults. So the game is
also
Linking Words
 getting better during childhood, simply put, youth start to play with toy instruments
learning
Punctuation problem
, learning
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 how to cook, build, fight, and study financial and industrial skills without realisation. Enthusiasm
also
Linking Words
 involves students
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
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 any kind of math problem just to know the answer and be smarter, so
,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 they release an enormous quantity of gathered physical, mental, and emotional adrenaline
,
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
 to
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 youngsters'
wish
Fix the agreement mistake
wishes
show examples
 might accomplish some kind of requirements from parents
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 instance, cleaning and throwing garbage away. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
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 the only enemy is mental pain, but the solution is less complex
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 parents mustn't be strict for
each
Correct determiner usage
every
show examples
 made action
,
Punctuation problem
. According
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 scientists
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 an animal will be joyful to feel kindness. Talent might
also
Linking Words
 be noticeable
while
Linking Words
 doing something,
for example
Linking Words
, Lionel Messi
a
Punctuation problem
, a
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professional footballer have shown perfect performance
while
Linking Words
 playing football.
That is
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 meritorious
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 toddlers' future in some cases is already done. So
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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conclusion
Punctuation problem
conclusion,
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 not everyone
succeeded
Correct pronoun usage
who succeeded
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 had a talent
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it is just hardworking in my consideration I am confident that even huge billionaires
Linking Words
also have
Correct word order
have also
show examples
 felt agony to accomplish their wish as they have contemplated well before

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. You talk more about learning in youth, but the idea of natural talent is not fully explained.
task response
Give your opinion in a simple and direct way in the introduction and the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas for each paragraph. One paragraph for born talent, one paragraph for teaching and practice.
coherence and cohesion
Add simple linking words like first, on the other hand, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
Use examples that directly fit the question, such as a child who learns music by practice or a player with natural skill.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to follow. Write shorter sentences and keep one main idea in each sentence.
task response
You give your opinion and keep it through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
There is a conclusion at the end.
task response
You try to use an example about Messi to support your idea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Nurture
  • Prodigy
  • Proficiency
  • Deliberate practice
  • Physiological factors
  • Grit
  • Perseverance
  • Cultural norms
  • Structured training
  • Physical predisposition
  • Natural aptitude
  • Dedicated training
  • Societal influence
  • Passion
  • Genetic endowment
  • Skill acquisition
  • Expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Mastery
  • Cognitive abilities
What to do next:
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