IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think the best way to improve road safety is to lower the maximum speed limit. Others think that there are better alternative ways to do that. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Despite the fact that it has been pointed out that lowering the limitation of maximum speed is the most effective method in improving traffic
safety
Use synonyms
, some individuals suggest that there are several other approaches to achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal. Personally, I thoroughly agree with the latter idea as raising the awareness of unsafe road behaviours is the most useful way. On the one hand, some people argue that reducing the speed limit is extremely beneficial to road
safety
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because when driving at a low speed, cars can stop more quickly, which allows drivers to have more time to make decisions and control their vehicles, leading to a drop in the number of car crashes.
For instance
Linking Words
, in China, a police officer states that almost half of the car accidents are caused by excessive speeding since vehicles need more time to stop with a higher driving speed, and most drivers are unable to take action to prevent incidents from happening within just several seconds. If the authorities are able to adjust the maximum driving speed to a lower limit, there will be a significant reduction in annual accidents.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other individuals, including me, believe that a huge number of other methods can be performed to make roads safer,
such
Linking Words
 as improving ordinary people’s awareness of
safety
Use synonyms
. The reason is that a vast majority of incidents are caused by the lack of
safety
Use synonyms
 consciousness, and if the government can launch educational programmes or campaigns to persuade the general public to understand the dangers of traffic accidents, it will be helpful in a decline in accident rates. As an illustration, a pedestrian who ignored traffic rules says that he was struck by a vehicle when jaywalking, as he thought the truck would stop and let him cross, which led to a tragedy. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 people may vary in their opinions about whether the best approach to make roads safer is decreasing the maximum driving speed, I am of the opinion that fostering a culture of
safety
Use synonyms
 awareness regarding the consequences of unsafe behaviour is the most effective means.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more direct in the second body part. Say the other ways first, then explain why they help.
task achievement
Use examples that sound more general and real. Some examples now sound too personal or not fully clear.
task achievement
Add one more other way to improve road safety, not only awareness. This will make your answer more complete for both sides.
coherence cohesion
Link some ideas more simply. A few long sentences make the flow less easy to follow.
task achievement
You answer both sides of the question and give your own opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Most main points are explained with reasons and examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: