IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The illustrations below show how coffee is sometimes produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

#illustrations #show #coffee #summarise #information #features #comparisons
According to
 the picture, it can be revealed that there are twelve stages
overall
 in coffee production. The main feature of the caffeine industry through the provided data is that it incorporates two types of coffee, roasted and non-roasted.
To begin
, the beans are selected and sorted by workers for the following cleaning procedure via a sieve by using water
accordingly
.
Then
, the step of drying the beans in the sun takes approximately 4 weeks, after which the beans should be raked and turned from the ground and ought to be stored in a silo, ready for delivery to the milling process. In the next stage, the workers commence to hull the product by using the long tool and,
as a consequence
, grade it through the grid. Afterwards, the whole product is bagged, where one part of the product is ready for purchase and the remaining part of the coffee is sent to the roasting procedure before being packed and sold in the market.
Overall
, as a matter of fact, the coffee-making process is definitely very long and wastes a number of actions. It is essential to note, that a plethora of workforce was involved in the whole process of manufacture.
Submitted by akhmedova.mb on

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task achievement
Overall, your response covers most of the stages mentioned in the diagram. However, some details are either missing or not fully explained. Make sure to include all major steps to achieve a complete response.
task achievement
Some ideas in your essay are clear, but they lack comprehensive explanations. For instance, providing specifics about how beans are sorted or hulled can make your response stronger.
task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more relevant examples to strengthen the description. For example, mentioning specific tools or methods used in the coffee roasting process could add more clarity.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay is somewhat disrupted. To improve coherence, consider linking the stages more effectively and ensuring each stage logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. However, the conclusion could be strengthened to summarize the entire process more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Try to support your main points with more detailed explanations or reasons. For instance, explaining the significance of each stage in the process would improve cohesion.
task achievement
You have successfully identified the main stages of the coffee production process, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay, with an introduction, body, and conclusion, is well-organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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