IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that a tax on companies should be introduced to reduce industrial pollution. Others believe that other measures should be taken to solve the problem. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, large scale business plays a significant role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 producing harmful pollutants in the environment. Some individuals believe that the official authorities should impose
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
tax
Use synonyms
 on these
companies
Use synonyms
 to reduce it.
However
Linking Words
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that other measures are more effective than
levy
Wrong verb form
levying
show examples
 a
tax
Use synonyms
 on
companies
Use synonyms
. I agree with the latter view
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I think implementing effective measure are more beneficial than
levy
Wrong verb form
levying
show examples
 a
tax
Use synonyms
 on big corporations. On the one hand, a
tax
Use synonyms
 on
companies
Use synonyms
 will encourage them to use the resources effectively and carefully. In most of the cases, it can be seen that
companies
Use synonyms
 try to save themselves from the
tax
Use synonyms
 and comply with the rules of the state.
Mostly
Rephrase
Most
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
now
Verb problem
are now
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 moving from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obsolete technology to modern
equipment
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not only energy efficient but
also
Linking Words
 help to lessen the smoke, dust and harmful gases in the environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, subsidies and training on using the new cleaner machines will automatically help them to take a serious look
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
Linking Words
 matter. And their
co-operation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
 with the government's plan will encourage others to maintain a healthy environment at the workplace. In my opinion, imposing a simple
tax
Use synonyms
 on industries is not worthwhile. Even though they paid higher taxes
but
Correct word choice
,
show examples
 the industrial
pollution
Use synonyms
 will remain the same.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the authorities should implement other ways
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
check
Wrong verb form
checking
show examples
 their
equipment
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
limit
Correct subject-verb agreement
limits
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 weekly. It is true that
companies
Use synonyms
 try to become profitable by saving their expenses on buying new
equipment
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, their
pollution
Use synonyms
 level increased, and the smoke came out from it,
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
 the lives of workers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government officials should randomly visit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
for checking
Wrong verb form
to check
show examples
 the whole
procedure of
Check wording
apply
show examples
production
.
Check wording
process.
show examples
 I believe these measures are practical and the support from the government officials helps them to buy new machinery and get the carbon
tax
Use synonyms
 deduction if they
meets
Correct subject-verb agreement
meet
show examples
 the criteria.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
tax
Use synonyms
 on
companies
Use synonyms
 may encourage them to adopt cleaner practices,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is not entirely an effective solution on its own. More practical measures
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
strict
Change preposition
as strict
show examples
 monitoring, regular inspections
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 assistance for modern
Use synonyms
equipment
Punctuation problem
equipment,
show examples
 can reduce industrial
pollution
Use synonyms
 more effectively.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the combination of law enforcement and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governmental support is far more beneficial
Linking Words
instead of
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 solely
rely
Wrong verb form
relying
show examples
 on taxation policy.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about tax and other ways, but the tax side is not as strong as the other side.
task response
Give one clear example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from start to end. Your view is there, but some lines make the message less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. Some sentences do not connect well, so the flow is not always smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each part and explain it step by step. This will help the reader follow you more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some parts are hard to follow and this hurts the overall flow.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion, which is needed in this task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The ending sums up your main view clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial pollution
  • pollution tax
  • reduce emissions
  • harmful gas
  • dirty water
  • clean technology
  • strict laws
  • set limits
  • pay for the damage
  • public health
  • green energy
  • financial support
  • tax cuts
  • large fines
  • follow the rules
  • make a profit
  • long-term solution
  • government control
  • environmental damage
  • polluter should pay
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