Some people think that competetion at work, at school and in daily lide is a good thing. Othersbelieve that we should try to cooperate more rather than compete against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Competition

Use synonyms

at work, at school and in daily life is very common,

although

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

it is not

necessary

Replace the word

necessarily

healthy. In the work

enviroment

Correct your spelling

environment

, the number of burnouts over the

last

Linking Words

years

Correct determiner usage

few years

show examples

has increased

signficantly

Correct your spelling

significantly

. In

this

Linking Words

scenario

Add a comma

scenario,

show examples

the pressure between production and being the best has definitely caused breakdowns and several mental health issues. At school, high standards of education can,

unfornatelly

Correct your spelling

unfortunately

, steal the best of their childhood, putting kids in a

worryfing situtation

Correct your spelling

worrying situation

where all that matters are numbers and grades.

Chinese

Correct article usage

The Chinese

show examples

Educational System is known for its strict way of education. Since the very first years, kids are classified

acording

Correct your spelling

according

to their

strenthgs

Correct your spelling

strengths

. There is an official ranking published weekly and

disclosure

Replace the word

disclosed

everyone

Use synonyms

that shows

students name

Check wording

students' names

show examples

and their position in every subject. That,

obsviouly

Correct your spelling

obviously

induct

Correct subject-verb agreement

inducts

show examples

kids to a intern

competition

Use synonyms

where

everyone

Use synonyms

wants to be ranked better than the other colleagues. Germany

has

Correct word order

also has

show examples

also

Linking Words

a very similar school system that

refuse

Correct subject-verb agreement

refuses

show examples

students with lower grades. With social

media

Punctuation problem

media,

show examples

we tend to compare ourselves to others and create a

competition

Use synonyms

in our heads about daily things: our diet,

time production

Correct your spelling

productivity

exercising

Correct word choice

and exercising

show examples

. We want to be better

Punctuation problem

, or

show examples

at least as good as the ones we see. In the opposite

way

Punctuation problem

way,

show examples

now many influencers are

ressignifying

Correct your spelling

resignifying

this

Linking Words

kind of comparison and showing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their followers

also

Linking Words

the

vunerable

Correct your spelling

vulnerable

side of their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

. I think life is not a

competition

Use synonyms

Everyone

Use synonyms

has

its

Fix the agreement mistake

their

show examples

own time

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

we shouldn't compare ourselves or create any kind of

competition

Use synonyms

because in the

end

Add a comma

end,

show examples

everyone

Use synonyms

is already competing against

our

Fix the agreement mistake

their

show examples

own minds. So

lets

Correct your spelling

let's

try to cooperate more and be kind to each other in order to make

Correct article usage

the

show examples

world a better place to live in.

karolinebert

Apr 5, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Talk about both sides more evenly. You write a lot about why competition is bad, but you say very little about why some people think it is good.

task response

Give your opinion more clearly earlier, not only at the end. This helps the reader follow your main idea.

task response

Develop each main point with a clear explanation. Some ideas are good, but they need one more step: why, how, and what result.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear paragraph focus. One paragraph for work, one for school, one for daily life, and one for the other view would be better.

coherence and cohesion

Connect ideas more smoothly. Use simple linking words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences do not link well to the main question. Make sure every example clearly supports the point of the paragraph.

task response

You answer the topic and give your own opinion at the end.

task response

You use examples from school systems and social media, which helps make your ideas more real.

coherence and cohesion

There is a clear ending, and your message is easy to understand.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay moves through work, school, and daily life in a logical order.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

282 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view
The world that we live in today is dominated by advertising. Adverts are on television, on the World Wide Web, in the street and even on our mobile phones. However, many of the strategies used to sell a product or service can be considered immoral or unacceptable.
6.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas. You would like some information about their courses. Write a letter to the school. In your letter •ask about the school •say what kind of accommodation you want •mention any special requests you have (for example diet). Write at least 150 words.
My name is Simi and my native language is Hindi and Punjabi as I am from India. I am writing this letter in regard to inquire some information about your school as I am planning to take English courses in your school.
6.5
band
In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
Over the course of the last decades, thanks to advancements in medicine, life expectancy has increased significantly. However, this trend has also brought about some challenges, such as high healthcare demand and labour shortage, that should be addressed with the joint effort of both local people and governments.
7
band
Government spend millions of dollars each year on their space programmes Most recently Mars is the focus of scientists attention' . Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with closer to home. Do you agree or disagree?
Humanity has always craved for more. We always wanted more resources, more money, more power and now to the topic: more land. Many would argue this is just fool's gold, It would amount to nothing and It would not matter in the end. I believe we should seek shelter outside this planet.
7.5
band
Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experince and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It has been debated whether it is an academic degree or it is emotional intelligence skills more crucial for finding a job. In this essay, I will compare these stances and give my opinion.

Some people think that competetion at work, at school and in daily lide is a good thing. Othersbelieve that we should try to cooperate more rather than compete against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Government spend millions of dollars each year on their space programmes Most recently Mars is the focus of scientists attention' . Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with closer to home. Do you agree or disagree?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experince and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.