IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many of the world’s cities are currently facing a serious housing shortage. What are some of the reasons for this shortage and what solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Currently, many of the world's cities have been experiencing a serious housing
stortage
Correct your spelling
shortage
 situation, where the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more than
available
Correct article usage
the available
show examples
 accommodation.
This
Linking Words
 essay
is discussed about
Verb problem
discusses
show examples
 the possible two reasons for
this
Linking Words
 situation, which are a high rate of immigration and real estate investment. The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing shortage can be caused by a large
number
Use synonyms
 of immigrants;
people
Use synonyms
 from other countries have been moving to specific
areas
Use synonyms
, especially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in big cities.
For example
Linking Words
, in Australia,
this
Linking Words
 has become a big and serious issue for Australians to find a reasonable rent for housing because not only
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of students
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been increasing, but
also
Linking Words
skilled
Check wording
the number of skilled
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 workers,
as a result
Linking Words
, the rental cost has been constantly rising. So, for 1 studio room can cost 400 - 600 dollars a week, or it can be a 2-room apartment separated into 3 to 4 rooms in order to fit more
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the investment in real estate can affect
this
Linking Words
 shortage because
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who would like to get passive income from renting their properties to others
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 own many houses or apartments. With a limited
number
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 of supplies owned by a group of investors, it is hard for households to find a place to live. Solutions to
this
Linking Words
 worrying problem are the fascinating policies created by the government to encourage immigrants to live in regional
areas
Use synonyms
; it can be related to a beneficial tax deduction.
This
Linking Words
 can help to distribute the
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals to other
areas
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the investors need to pay more taxes if they own more than 2 houses, or it can refer to the size of the accommodations. So,
this
Linking Words
 can be a factor for the investors to consider before
possessing
Verb problem
purchasing
show examples
 the properties. The government can use those taxes to invest in building more houses. In conclusion, the reasons for housing shortage in cities are the increasing
number
Use synonyms
 of immigrants and property investment for income.
This
Linking Words
 can be eased by policies that encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to live in regional
areas
Use synonyms
, and
tax
Correct article usage
a tax
show examples
 increase.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give reasons and fixes, but you can explain each one a bit more.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main ideas very clear at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler and shorter linking words so your points are easier to follow.
task response
Add one more clear example for your solution part.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body, and end.
task response
You use a real example about Australia, and it helps your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-urban migration
  • natural population growth
  • economic inequalities
  • property prices
  • urbanization
  • housing demand
  • land scarcity
  • government policies
  • affordable housing
  • foreign investors
  • construction costs
  • labor costs
  • real estate market
  • housing crisis
  • residential development
What to do next:
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