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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of thepopulation aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040in three different countries.

The line chart illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of populationaged 65 and over from 1940 to 2040 in
Japan
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,
Sweden
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 and the
USA
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the figures for three countries represented an upward trend over the period,
while
Linking Words
Japan
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 declined slightly at the beginning, it later rebounded and is expected to surpass both
Sweden
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 and the
USA
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 by the end of the period. In 1940, the
USA
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 recorded the highest figure at12%,followed closely by
Sweden
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 with 8%.
Bycontrast
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By contrast
,
Japan
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 had the lowest
percentage
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 of residents aged 65 and over. From 1940to 1980, the
USA
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 and
Sweden
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 increased steadily,at 15%and 13 %,respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
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 of people aged 65 and over declined consistently during the same period, and stood at 4% in 1980. From 1990 onwards,there was a distinct divergence
:
Punctuation problem
;
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 the figures for the
USA
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 and
Sweden
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 experienced a minor
decrease-showed
Punctuation problem
decrease, showed
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 slight fluctuations ,
whereas
Linking Words
Japan
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 climbed gruadally（gradually
）
Punctuation problem
(
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Notably
Fix capitalization
notably
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, the proportion in
Sweden
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 overtook that of the
USA
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 ,and was projected to rise steadily over 25% by 2040. The figure for
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 remained unchanged from 2000 to 2020, before increasing sharply to reach 22%. The
percentage
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 of individuals in
Japan
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 increased dramatically after 2020, exceeding the figures for both
Sweden
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 and the
USA
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 .After these shifts,
Japan
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 was predicted to peak at 27% in 2040.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, japan, sweden, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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