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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future, we will have more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home and work. Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problem it will cause.

In recent years, it has become increasingly evident that robots are being used to do household chores and
also
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 assist employees at
work
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 to accomplish several duties.
This
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 practice has multiple advantages and disadvantages, which will be explained in detail in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, using electronic
machines
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 at home is considered very important as they help to save valuable
time
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, which would be spent on other meaningful activities. If individuals are working full-
time
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in
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for
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 a week, it becomes extremely challenging to invest more
time
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 in cooking, cleaning and washing dishes, which generates stress and tiredness.
In addition
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 to
this
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, the more the technology is used at
work
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, the more productivity will be seen in workers, as most of the
work
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 will be done by robots and automation.
For example
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, dishwashing
machines
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 at home can save plenty of
time
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;
however
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, cleaning
machines
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also
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 support employees to utilise some
time
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 in other activities.
On the other hand
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, relying on technology can replace significant jobs, which can create unemployment and decline the interest in hard
work
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. If people remain jobless,
this
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 will not only produce extreme stress conditions but
also
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 develop unmotivated feelings in their lives.
For instance
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, the less motivation there is in life, the more difficult it becomes to establish life effectively. In conclusion,
although
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 the use of robots and
machines
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 can save
time
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 and increase productivity, it may
also
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 lead to unemployment and reduced motivation among individuals. In my opinion,
while
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this
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 development offers significant benefits, its drawbacks should be carefully managed to ensure a balanced and stable society.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Write more about the good side and the problem side with equal detail.
task response
Give more clear and real examples. Your example about machines is a bit general.
task response
Explain your ideas one step more. Show how free time helps life, and how job loss hurts people and society.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few lines are not smooth. Try shorter and clearer sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat time saving and work help. Add one new point instead of saying the same idea again.
task response
You answer both parts of the task.
task response
Your main idea is clear: machines bring good and bad results.
coherence and cohesion
You have clear paragraphs with an introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like On the one hand, On the other hand, and In conclusion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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