IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people like unhealthy food although they know it is bad for them. Why? What are the effective ways to improve people's eating habits?

In the modern world where
where
Remove the redundancy
apply
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convenience takes priority, more concerns
are stemmed
Wrong verb form
stem
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 from people’s consumerism of fast
food
Use synonyms
. Even at the expense of
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 health, people
still
Verb problem
are still
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 keen on eating fast
food
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline some possible explanations for
this
Linking Words
 topic and
gives out
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 some ways to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective eating practices.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are some reasons for general obsessive cravings. From the
last
Linking Words
 experience of the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural
Organization
Change the spelling
Organisation
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 (UNESCO), there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 dramatic changes
with
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 obsession with unhealthy foods
recent
Change preposition
in recent
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 years. When we consume fast
food
Use synonyms
, our brains generate chemicals that
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 us happiness and relaxation.
Thus
Linking Words
, constantly eating
those
Fix the agreement mistake
that
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 gives us pleasure.
Therefore
Linking Words
, despite being harmful, unhealthy meal is consumed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people more
day by day
Correct word choice
and more
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. In terms of being healthy, there are some feasible ways to have a
salutary
Correct your spelling
healthy
 eating habit. In order to make
this
Linking Words
 process less painful, people are recommended to find a dish that shares
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 taste but
being more healthy
Wrong verb form
is healthier
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to
food
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 choices, busy workers are
also
Linking Words
 encouraged to choose eateries providing organic and healthy meals over fast
food
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 is undoubtedly harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our health because of some logical reasons.
However
Linking Words
, by changing
food
Use synonyms
 choices, humans still enjoy eating
meal
Check wording
meals
show examples
while
Linking Words
 they are improving their
healthy
Replace the word
health
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say more clearly why people eat bad food and how to change this.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it with a simple example.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are linked, but some parts are hard to follow. Use short and clear sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like first, also, because, and in conclusion.
task response
Give a more real and direct example. The UNESCO point does not feel clear or strong.
task response
You answered both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
You tried to give solutions, not only causes.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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