IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

In many parts of the world, some rare species are almost at
verge
Correct article usage
the verge
show examples
 of
extinction
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 other animals are
almost
Rephrase
also
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 at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 risk.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the key problems
assosicated
Correct your spelling
associated
 with
this
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 trend and propose practical solutions. There are several serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 increasing the
extinction
Use synonyms
. The most pressing
is
Check wording
issue is
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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cutting trees for
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
residential and commercial
area
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areas
show examples
.
For example
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,
due to
Linking Words
 land unavailability in Indian cities,
people
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 have started building new
factories
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 near
forest
Use synonyms
area
Check wording
areas
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, and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 has been selling these
forest
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 land to
powerfull
Correct your spelling
powerful
people
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 for their personal use. Another major issue is arising
due to
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increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in
a
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apply
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pollution from
the
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apply
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industries
such
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 as
textile
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textiles
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, which are throwing garbage and releasing chemicals like dye inside
forest
Use synonyms
 water sources. These
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 are
distrupting
Correct your spelling
disrupting
 the wild life habbitat and their reproduction cycle. Fortunately, a number of measures can be taken to address these concerns. The most effective approach would be for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to stop selling
forest
Use synonyms
 land to build
factories
Use synonyms
 and for
others
Check wording
others'
show examples
 personal use.
In addition
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 to that, they should regulating on waste management policies of
factories
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.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should not only control
such
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 policies but
also
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 make
people
Use synonyms
 aware on responsibility towards
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
 conservation. If these measures are implemented, rare species and other animals can be saved
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 it will at least slow down their
extinction
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 animal
extinction
Use synonyms
 remains a serious concern
due to
Linking Words
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of
factories
Use synonyms
 and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in pollution, targeted
solution
Check wording
solutions
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as regulations on
Use synonyms
factories
Check wording
factory
show examples
 waste management policies and spreading awarness in
people
Use synonyms
 can make meaningful progress. It is essential that action is taken without delay.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why animals are at risk and give ways to help, but some ideas need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start with one clear point, then add support.
task response
Give one more clear example for the solution part, not only for the problem part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts feel a little hard to follow because of grammar mistakes.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use a real example about cities and forests, which helps support your idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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