The pie chart below show the average house hold expenditures im Japan and Malaysia.

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The pie chart provided illustrates the main areas of family
expenditure
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in
Japan
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and Malaysia in 2010. It is clearly seen that
Japan
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had the highest percentage of
expenditure
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on other goods and services,
whereas
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healthcare accounted for the lowest percentage. In Malaysia, housing accounted for the largest proportion of
expenditure
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,
while
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healthcare represented the smallest share. Regarding the different categories, transport accounted for a higher proportion of
expenditure
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in
Japan
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,
while
Linking Words
housing and food represented larger proportions in Malaysia. Healthcare accounted for a higher percentage in
Japan
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, as did other goods and services.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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