IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are thirty as this is best both for individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree.

This
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 is a topic which has represented a concern for
people
Use synonyms
 since the very early stages of science development. The importance of
such
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subject
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a subject
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 is
also
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 underlined by political systems in the past centuries that, in
a
Correct article usage
one
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 way or another,
encoraged
Correct your spelling
encouraged
people
Use synonyms
 to get married as early as possible by granting them,
for example
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, a better tax regime or multiple benefits. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 the strongest argument for requiring
people
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 to get married is for them to form a family, and give birth to kids,
thus
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 increasing the population. On one hand, I strongly believe that society percieved as a whole can strongly benefit from
people
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 getting married before they are thirty.
This
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 is the age when both
,
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apply
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 women and men
,
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apply
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 are the most fertile and can really help them have kids. Considering that
this
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 is a huge problem nowadays,
people
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 should really consider that age is a vital factor when trying to have babies.
However
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, a balance should be kept and not too much social pressure should be put on the shoulders of the young generations, as
this
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 can push them to take some very important decisions without having thought enough about the consequences.
On the other hand
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, I am a firm believer that getting married or being in a serious long-term relationship can
also
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 help each individual.
Firstly
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,
It
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it
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 is clear
and
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, and
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 it has been proved over the
last
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 thousands of years that
people
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 are social creatures and they
tent
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tend
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 to form groups and communities, with the smallest kind of group ever known being the family.
This
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 gives humanbeing a huge level of
confort
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comfort
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 and confidence.
Secondly
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, a marriage should be the vehicle for both the husband and the wife
of improving
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to improve
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 themselves and
suport
Correct your spelling
support
 each other in becoming the best versions of themselves. To
summ
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sum
 up, getting married before thirty
cand
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can
 really help both
the
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apply
show examples
society and the individuals in many ways.
Nevertheless
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, the idea of getting married should not be imposed by the law or by
the
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apply
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peer pressure and should be a decision that each and everyone of us
is taking
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takes
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 when they
feels
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feel
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 it is the right moment.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first paragraph. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Add one or two real and clear examples to support your ideas.
task response
Explain your ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a more smooth way. Some sentences feel too long or not fully connected.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and develop it step by step.
task response
You answer both sides: benefit for society and benefit for the person.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The ending gives a balanced final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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