Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

This
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subject is one of the most important ones in terms of future development of the legal system of every
jurisidiction
Correct your spelling
jurisdiction
and how we can deal with criminals and breaches of law. Not surprisingly, how offenders should be punished has been one of the most debated topics in the
last
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century
and
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, and
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it still continues to be of high relevance today. In my opinion, the courts must balance the benefits of putting someone behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bars and letting them
frem
Correct your spelling
free
but imposing,
however
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, a sanction
such
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as unpaid community work. It is true that in some cases putting people behind bars can actually do more damage than good. There is no doubt that some people can be badly influenced by the environment and the interactions they have in a prison.
For instance
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, if someone who drove a car over the speed limit is put in a cell with some other people who were convicted for some more
serios
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serious
offences
such
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as rape or murder, can come out of prison a worse person than he was before.
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However
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However,
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such
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replacement of punishments shall be done with a lot of caution. We have to consider that by not putting
in prison a criminal offender
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a criminal offender in prison
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, there is a potential risk of him
doing
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committing
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several other offences. Here comes the role of the courts and the
judges
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judges,
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that really
Correct pronoun usage
who
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must consider how dangerous that person is
for
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to
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the community he lives in. In conclusion,
this
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topic raises an important question for every developed country and underlines the important role the judges and the legal system
plays
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play
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nowadays

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task response
Give a clearer answer in the first paragraph. Say if you mostly agree or mostly disagree.
task response
Develop your main ideas more. Explain why community work can help some offenders and when prison is still needed.
task response
Add one more clear example to support your ideas. Real or simple examples can make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, explanation, example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, such as 'however', 'for example', and 'therefore', so ideas connect more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence flow. Some sentences are long and unclear, so break them into shorter parts.
task response
You answer the topic and discuss both prison and community work.
coherence and cohesion
You include an introduction and a conclusion, which gives the essay a full shape.
task response
The example about a minor driving offence and serious criminals in prison is relevant.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are clear, and each one has a main focus.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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