IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way ton reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Crime
Use synonyms
 rates
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become
increasingly
Correct word order
apply
show examples
a part of people's minds
.
Rephrase
increasingly.
show examples
 Many people hold the opinion that giving longer extensions in prisons can lead to a decline
of crimes rate
Change preposition
in crime rates
show examples
. Others,
however
Linking Words
, disagree and believe
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other optimal ways to reduce the proportion of
crime
Use synonyms
. No one can deny the idea of the prison.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is not very beneficial for the government
when putting
Wrong verb form
to put
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 dozens of prisoners
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one place without changing the way they believe and think.
Also
Linking Words
, when the extension period is over, they can return to their previous
crime
Use synonyms
 businesses
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
rare
Correct article usage
a rare
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 percentage of them are going to stop. Even on the
dwellers
Check wording
dwellers'
show examples
 side,
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 time for prisoners in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison can cause more problems
instead
Linking Words
 of reducing
crime
Use synonyms
 because they are willing to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 their crimes again.
As a result
Linking Words
, others believe that there is a certain way to apply a decline in
crime
Use synonyms
 rates.
For example
Linking Words
, putting strict rules which are unbreakable,
provid
Correct your spelling
providing
 more facilities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
train
Wrong verb form
training
show examples
 police workers in how to cope with criminals. By applying each suggestion, they can figure out which approach is the
best
Punctuation problem
best,
show examples
 whether for individuals or the government.
To sum up
Linking Words
, an observable decline in
crime
Use synonyms
 rates might be easily
done
Verb problem
achieved
show examples
 by listening to
residents
Check wording
residents'
show examples
 suggestions. Even if others believe that
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 duration in prisons is more effective. Personally, I would find it more convenient to choose better ways to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Write one full main idea for longer prison time and one full main idea for other ways.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way from the start and keep it the same to the end.
task response
Use more clear examples. For example, talk about jobs, school, police training, or help for young people.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one topic only. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like First, However, For example, As a result, In my view.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some ideas now are hard to follow because the meaning changes in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
You discuss both views and you give your opinion.
task response
You try to use examples and solutions, like strict rules and police training.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce crime
  • long prison sentences
  • serious punishment
  • break the law
  • violent crime
  • repeat offender
  • protect the public
  • keep society safe
  • root causes
  • poor education
  • drug abuse
  • mental health support
  • job training
  • rehabilitation programs
  • community support
  • crime prevention
  • a balanced approach
  • in the long term
  • send a strong message
  • return to society
What to do next:
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