One of the consequences of improved technology is that many jobs that used to be done by people can now be completed by robots or computers. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is argued about the advanced
technology
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plays a major role in many jobs
that is
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done by humans can be now done by
robots
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or computers.
This
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essay agrees that the advantages of
this
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outweigh the disadvantages. The
technology
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has been developed to be more advanced in many different ways to make our lives and jobs easier. First
if
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of
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all, it helps to reduce human errors. When works become busy, it is very easy to make mistakes, which can affect the performance of workers. With the developed programs in
robots
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or computers, it can help us to detect the errors faster,
for example
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, in the strawberry packing
process
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; the packers can easily make mistakes on weighing or on checking the rotten strawberries. These errors can be found easily and effectively by using
technology
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.
Secondly
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, the
process
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of work will be faster and more efficient. We can again relate to the strawberry packing factory. So, humans may finish the packing
process
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by taking a whole day,
while
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the machine may probably take only half of the day,
then
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,
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the other half of the day can be beneficially allocated to another
process
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.
Moreover
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, replacing
robots
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or computers in working processes can reduce the injury that can happen to the workers, especially
,
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with the
high risk
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high-risk
jobs,
for example
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, cutting trees in paper producing industry. There is a very high chance that the workers may sometimes cut themselves by accident.
However
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, there are some people who think that there are many disadvantages
of
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to
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replacing humans with
technology
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. The reason can be a decrease in employment rates, so many people will get laid off.
Also
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, a high expense in advanced programs or
robots
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, which not many companies will have enough budget to invest in. In conclusion, it is very challenging in the labour market, as many companies try to beneficially implement the
technology
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in the working processes, which will make works to be more accurate, faster, and reduce injury rate in the workplace.

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task response
For task response, make your main answer more clear in the first paragraph. Say why the good points are stronger than the bad points in a direct way.
task response
For task response, explain the bad side more. You mention job loss and high cost, but these ideas need a bit more support.
task response
For task response, your examples are relevant, but one factory example is used many times. Add one more different example to make your ideas wider.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear order: intro, body, other side, and conclusion. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are not linked well. Use simple linking words in a careful way, like first, second, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some ideas in the conclusion are new or not fully tied back to your main view. Keep the last paragraph short and close to your answer.
task response
You answer both sides and give your opinion clearly. This helps task response.
task response
You give specific examples, like strawberry packing and tree cutting. This supports your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has both an introduction and a conclusion. This supports the overall flow.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main idea, so the reader can follow your points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • improved technology
  • carry out tasks
  • replace human workers
  • save time
  • reduce cost
  • make fewer mistakes
  • increase quality
  • dangerous jobs
  • protect workers
  • reduce injury
  • job loss
  • low-skilled workers
  • learn new skills
  • training programs
  • depend on technology
  • system failure
  • data safety
  • cyber attack
  • creative work
  • outweigh the disadvantages
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