IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Use synonyms
kids
Fix capitalization
Kids
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 who
dedicate
Verb problem
commit
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 crimes should be treated in the same
path
Check wording
apply
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way as individuals who are
bigger
Correct word choice
older
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 than 18 years old.I
am
Wrong verb form
apply
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totally
agreeing
Wrong verb form
agree
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 with
this
Linking Words
 statement because people who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 under 18 years of age
are having
Wrong verb form
have
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 the capability to know the meaning of the crime via social media. On the one hand,many audiences believe that childrens brain arent advanced as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults
Check wording
adults'
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 brains
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 they cannot think
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 possibilites that what they
done
Verb problem
have done
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Turkey,
kids
Use synonyms
 who are under 12 years of age are not responsible
any
Change preposition
for any
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 crime they commit because the government assume that minis dont have the capability of thinking
what
Change preposition
about what
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 they have done.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that juveniles who
perform
Verb problem
commit a
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 breach of
law
Correct article usage
the law
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are
Verb problem
apply
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should be handled in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar
technique
Check wording
way
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. They believe
kids
Use synonyms
 who executed breach of
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
 can know the meaning
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
 they have done regardless of their age.
For example
Linking Words
, if a youngster
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
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 how to stab someone or
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 illegal drugs, they can
also
Linking Words
 know what they are doing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they can know the consequences of their highly
innappropriate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
 actions. In conclusion, many audiences believe that
kids
Use synonyms
shouldnt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
 be treated
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same way as adults
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
 can know that their actions
also
Linking Words
 have very bad consequences

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep the same view in all parts.
task response
Add one more clear idea to each body part and explain it more.
task response
Use examples with more detail so they support your point better.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, because, so, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each paragraph has one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last line fully match your opinion in the introduction.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You used a clear paragraph plan with introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
You gave an example about Turkey, which helps your message.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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