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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information about the revenue of A&V Teach Company from 200 to 2004.

This
Linking Words
 bar chart compares the profits of A&V Tech Company's three different types of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 between 2000
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, Laptops were the dominant category over all periods.
Both
Use synonyms
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
 and cameras started to be calculated from 2001 with minus figures, but showed significant growth from 2002. Two categories showed significant growth from 2002 to 2003. Looking at the details, laptops were always earning the most money throughout the period. The figures went down a little bit from over 4
million
Use synonyms
 to about 3
million
Use synonyms
 between 2000 and 2001, followed by
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
 rise by 2004 more than 8
million
Use synonyms
 dollars. Regarding
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two products,
both
Use synonyms
 started to be counted as revenues from 2001.
However
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 figures were minus in
2001
Punctuation problem
2001,
show examples
 about -2
million
Use synonyms
 for
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
 and roughly -1
million
Use synonyms
 for cameras.
Both
Use synonyms
 products showed a sharp rise from 2002 to 2003 to over 3
million
Use synonyms
 and remained relatively stable after that.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words both, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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