IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school, while others believe it is better to start in secondary school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Everyting
Correct your spelling
Everything
 in
this
Linking Words
 world has merits and demerits, a significant example is
start learning
Wrong verb form
starting to learn
show examples
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at primary school. There are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot of
 people belive that it is
Correct article usage
an advantage
show examples
advantage
Punctuation problem
advantage,
show examples
 where other belive that it is
disadvantage
Correct article usage
a disadvantage
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that it is
mixture
Correct article usage
a mixture
show examples
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both. On one hand ,
learining
Correct your spelling
learning
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
first
Use synonyms
 years of
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 life might make a
beter
Correct your spelling
better
 base on the foreign
language
Use synonyms
 than learning it on leat.
For example
Linking Words
 , most people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 had a perfect
english languge
Correct your spelling
English language
 had started learining english from primary school. Another
reasone
Correct your spelling
reason
 makes learining foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at primary
an
Check wording
school an
show examples
 advantage, in
this
Linking Words
perod
Correct your spelling
period
 of the
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 life,
comincution
Correct your spelling
communication
 is a impotant thing for the
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
, so they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 make
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
friendship
Check wording
friends
show examples
 with
kids
Use synonyms
 from other
countery
Correct your spelling
countries
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
learining
Correct your spelling
learning
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 in primary
might
Check wording
school might
show examples
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the
first
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 of the
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 most
kids
Use synonyms
 at primary are in prosses learning their
first
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
 may
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 the kid mixup between both languages. Another
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 makes learining foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at primary
a
Check wording
school a
show examples
disadvantage,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
tecnolgey
Correct your spelling
technology
 era,
kids
Use synonyms
 may talk to people that they
must dont
Correct your spelling
mustn't
. In my point of view
learning
Punctuation problem
, learning
show examples
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is a positive, as long
it
Correct word choice
as it
show examples
is do
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 not
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 their
first
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 and
looking after
Verb problem
takes into account
show examples
 the
contant
Correct your spelling
content
 that they are seeing at media and
who
Correct pronoun usage
whom
show examples
 they are talking
too
Use the right word
to
show examples
. Having a perfect
seconed
Correct your spelling
second
language
Use synonyms
 will help children alot at their
futer
Correct your spelling
future
,
perints
Correct your spelling
parents
 have to
incargue
Correct your spelling
encourage
 their
kids
Use synonyms
 to learn it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why primary school is good and why secondary school is good.
task response
Give your opinion in one clear sentence and keep it the same in the whole essay.
task response
Add more clear support for each main idea. One short example is not enough.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence follows the one before in a clear way.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support some ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Pronunciation
  • Fluency
  • Brain plasticity
  • Cultural awareness
  • Globalized world
  • Proficiency
  • Educational opportunities
  • Motivation
  • Resource constraints
  • Specialized teachers
  • Academic pressure
  • Parental involvement
  • Curriculum balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: