Music is considered to be a way to connect people from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

Many audiences

assumes

Correct subject-verb agreement

assume

show examples

that

music

Use synonyms

is connecting

people

Use synonyms

across the world

Punctuation problem

, no

show examples

matter what their age, nationality and skin color but others think the opposite.I believe that

music

Use synonyms

establishes a link between every variant of individuals all around the earth. On the one hand,

people

Use synonyms

think that

music

Use synonyms

is connecting

Wrong verb form

connects

show examples

us because

music

Use synonyms

can cross language

due to

Linking Words

rhythm, sound, and feeling easy to share.

People

Use synonyms

from different countries may not speak the same language, but they can still enjoy the same song, sing together and feel joy or peace when they are doing

this

Linking Words

highly precious activity.

For instance

Linking Words

, members of society from across the globe can listen

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

same track and feel joy no matter what their nationality or culture.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some residents consider that

music

Use synonyms

does not always connect everyone. Some

people

Use synonyms

have very different

taste

Fix the agreement mistake

tastes

show examples

music

Use synonyms

, and some of the songs have words or marginal styles that only a small percentage of

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

understands.

This

Linking Words

means

music

Use synonyms

is not a perfect bridge in every type of situation.

For example

Linking Words

, there are many genres in

music

Use synonyms

, and some

people

Use synonyms

may not like any of them, which leads to division among individuals. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

many residents believes that

music

Use synonyms

does not makes a connection all the time

due to

Linking Words

genres of the

music

Use synonyms

are so much variated, I assume that

music

Use synonyms

is the key for link everyone across the earth that we live in because everyone can listen the same song and feeling the joy no matter what their culture or the state that they have a life in.

merturkmez7

Apr 10, 2026

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task response

Make your first line more clear. Say your view in a direct way.

task response

Give more full support for each main idea. Explain why music joins people, and why some people do not feel this.

task response

Use examples that are more real and more clear.

coherence and cohesion

Put one main idea in each body part and keep all lines close to that idea.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like because, so, but, and for example.

coherence and cohesion

Check long lines in the end part. They are hard to follow.

task response

You answer both sides and give your own view.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use some link words like on the one hand, on the other hand, and for instance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

connect people
different cultures
different ages
shared feeling
bring people together
cross language barriers
sense of unity
human emotion
traditional music
modern music
public event
shared experience
cultural exchange
peaceful mood
strong memory
family bond
dance together
sing together
feel close
a powerful tool

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Music is considered to be a way to connect people from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some people belive that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad's person nature. discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice?