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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today’s time the internet is making it easy to study online from home. Some prefer online courses to study and they think it is better. Others prefer classroom education. Discuss both views and share your opinions.

The
emerge
Replace the word
emergence
 of the internet allows
students
Use synonyms
 to
surf
Verb problem
access
show examples
 information easily at home, especially
in
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 studying
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 online courses.
However
Linking Words
, other
students
Use synonyms
 argue that
offline
Correct article usage
the offline
show examples
 classroom is better. These two positions offer different advantages and disadvantages for
students
Use synonyms
 to learn something new.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, choosing online
classes
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 several benefits for
students
Use synonyms
,
expecially
Correct your spelling
especially
 in flexibility and learning time. Prefering online
class
Check wording
classes
show examples
 does not need more preparation compared to offline
classroom
Check wording
classrooms
show examples
,
for instance
Linking Words
managing
Punctuation problem
, managing
show examples
 the stuff in
bag
Correct article usage
a bag
show examples
 and transporting to school.
This
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 suitable for student that has a lot of activies beside the formal class, where they can manage the learning time easily.
Therefore
Linking Words
, choosing online
classes
Use synonyms
 is suitable for
students
Use synonyms
 that has several activities because it has a least preparation, leading to efficient study.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, online
classes
Use synonyms
 often give less communication between
students
Use synonyms
 and teachers, leading to less effective learning and
experincing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
 the practical knowledge.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 frequent interaction between
students
Use synonyms
 and teachers, the transfer knowledges are obviously
able to absorb
Wrong verb form
absorbed
show examples
 easily
due to
Linking Words
 the real
practicing
Replace the word
practice
 either in
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
 or
field
Change preposition
in the field
show examples
. The face-to-face interaction
also
Linking Words
relatively train
Correct subject-verb agreement
trains
show examples
 social
skill
Check wording
skills
show examples
 that are
notable
Rephrase
notably
show examples
 important for
students
Use synonyms
 in the future,
for
Linking Words
instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
show examples
 in making collaboration between their job industry, university, or just in
neighborhood
Correct determiner usage
their neighbourhood
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 online
classes
Use synonyms
 offer
flexible
Correct article usage
a flexible
show examples
 place and efficient time for
students
Use synonyms
 to learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new materials, offline
classes
Use synonyms
 allow
students
Use synonyms
 to make real interaction, leading to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future life, which will be
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
 for them to
make
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 their profesionality communication.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully and make your own opinion very clear all through the essay, not only at the end.
task response
Add more clear and real examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, such as 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'for example', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one and avoid ideas that are too long or unclear.
task response
You discuss both online study and classroom study, so you address both views.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Some points are supported with examples, like saving time and building social skill.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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