IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The parents of your Australian friend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for him/her Write a letter to Chris's parents. In your letter -Say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party -Explain why you won't be able to attend the party -give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time

Dear Mr and Mrs Collins,

Hi, Mr and Mrs Collins. I hope you are doing well.
I’m Pyo.


Firstly
Linking Words
, I would like to appreciate to your invitation
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Chris
Use synonyms
’s
birthday
Use synonyms
party
Use synonyms
. I think it will be enjoyable and suit
well to
Correct word order
Chris well
show examples
Chris
Use synonyms
. Because he is looking forward to his
birthday
Use synonyms
party
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, he always wants to
get
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a surprise
birthday
Use synonyms
party
Use synonyms
.
Especially
Punctuation problem
Especially,
show examples
 he
hope
Correct subject-verb agreement
hopes
show examples
 to take a
football
Check wording
pair of football
show examples
 shoes in
this
Linking Words
birthday
Use synonyms
.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t attend
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
party
Use synonyms
. Because my
grand mother
Correct your spelling
grandmother
 will come to my house. I met her
before
Rephrase
apply
show examples
3 years ago because she lives in
other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
 country. 


However
Linking Words
, I have a plan to meet
Chris
Use synonyms
 after finishing the
party
Use synonyms
. I already
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 an appointment with
Chris
Use synonyms
 the day after tomorrow
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 we will go to
cafe
Correct article usage
the cafe
show examples
. I will prepare the shoes that
Chris
Use synonyms
 wants to take
for
Change preposition
as a
show examples
 gift.

Thank you for your Invitation. 
I’m really happy to congratulate
Chris
Use synonyms
. Kind regards,
Pyo.

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task response
Task response: Answer all three parts more fully. Say more about why Chris will like the party, why you cannot go, and your plan to see Chris later.
task response
Task response: Use a clear friendly letter tone. For example, thank them, explain your reason, and end with a warm wish for Chris.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your letter easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Link ideas with simple words like and, but, because, so, and however.
task response
Task response: You answered all three bullet points, so the reader can understand your main message.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end, and it uses greeting and closing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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