IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, personal training has become increasingly popular compared to playing sports with others. There is a growing debate about whether having a personal
trainer
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 makes
people
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 more independent or more isolated. Some
people
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 believe that
this
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 type of training provides private and professional support,
while
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 others argue that it can make
people
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 feel isolated and even depressed. In my opinion, personal training has more advantages than other forms of exercise.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and give my opinion. One main reason is that hiring a personal
trainer
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 allows
people
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 to receive more personalised training.
This
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 is because training sessions are usually done individually with a
trainer
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.
Although
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people
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 can build a relationship with their
trainer
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, there is
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
 opportunity to socialise with others.
For example
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,
people
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 who use personal training often exercise alone with their
trainer
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 in the gym.
As a result
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, they may feel isolated.
However
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, not everyone agrees with
this
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 idea. One major advantage is that personal training is more professional than group classes. Trainers can focus on one person, which leads to higher-quality training. At the same time,
people
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 can choose their own training schedule, which is more flexible than attending group classes.
In addition
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, personal training can be especially helpful for introverted
people
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. They may feel uncomfortable or shy in group classes, so private training is a better option for them. In conclusion,
although
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 personal training may reduce opportunities for social interaction, it offers flexibility and professional guidance.
Therefore
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, I believe that it is a positive development
overall
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.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Give clear reasons why more people choose a trainer, then clearly explain why this is good or bad.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some parts do not fully match the question. You wrote more about being alone than about why this trend is growing.
task response
Use stronger support for main ideas. Add one or two real and clear examples for cost, time, health needs, or goals.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this simple shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but some points could connect more closely to the main question.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, but the first body paragraph could be developed more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
Your opinion is easy to find and stays the same through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because the paragraphs are in a good order.
task response
You explain some benefits well, such as flexible time and expert help.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized workout plans
  • tailored
  • efficient
  • awareness
  • physical health
  • motivation
  • guidance
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • exclusivity
  • status symbol
  • inaccessible
  • community engagement
  • social interaction
  • health outcomes
  • personal achievement
  • health-conscious
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