Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefit from this and not the employer. To what extent do you agree or disagree

There is no denying the fact that many people working remotely are often using developed
technologies
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nowadays.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that depending on advanced
technologies
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and working from
home
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simultaneously
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
benefit
employers
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, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that working from
home
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is
benefical
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beneficial
for both
workers
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and
employers
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.
Firstly
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, a lot of people are often used to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
at
home
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especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
in their personal and comfort space;
while
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workers
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are using
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
technologies
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for career purposes, a lot of practical advantages
expected
Verb problem
are expected
show examples
to
occurre
Correct your spelling
occur
.
In other words
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, individuals who used to work online
are
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apply
show examples
often
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
higher wages and more job
upgradance
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upgrades
show examples
. In
addtion
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addition
, when they use their own developed inventions remotely, a dash of career growth is predictable.
For example
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, Amazon has published a study that concludes 90% of their intelligent
workers
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are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
users of advanced
technologies
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at
home
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.
Secondly
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, another point to consider is that even
employers
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are getting huge benefits from
this
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trend. It is possible to say that
employers
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works are going to have an industrial revolution.
Moreover
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,
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
percentage of
customers satistification
Correct your spelling
customer satisfaction
is expected.
For example
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, when consumers see that the qualities of a company's products are valuable
due to
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the effort of the
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workers
Check wording
workers'
show examples
approach,
employers
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and their businesses are going to
take
Verb problem
experience
show examples
a huge increase for the customers happines. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that using recent
development
Check wording
developments
show examples
from
home
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is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for both employees and
employers
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.

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task response
Task response: You answer the question and give your view, but your main ideas are not always fully clear. Say more about why employers also benefit.
task response
Task response: Your examples are not very strong or clear. Use simple and real examples, and explain how they support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some sentences are hard to follow because the meaning is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Link your ideas more carefully. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to another. Use simple linking words like first, also, for example, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Make each paragraph focus on one main idea only, and explain it step by step.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has basic paragraphing with two main body paragraphs.
task response
You try to support your ideas with examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • telecommuting
  • employee productivity
  • cost savings
  • talent pool
  • geographical limitations
  • monitoring productivity
  • company culture
  • employee satisfaction
  • turnover rates
  • communication challenges
  • collaboration
  • efficiency
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
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