IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that scientists experimenting with animal in a laboratory is the only way we can guarantee new products will be safe for Human's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Animal testing has been historically used to guarantee the safety of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new goods
such
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 as medicines, makeup and even food. I agree that without
trials
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 on
mammals
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mammals,
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 we will not have certainty about the safety of these products. Unfortunately, there is no better way to test for the potential
side-effects
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side effects
 of a product on
a
Correct article usage
the
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 human body than to use
animals
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. By doing
this
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, we can witness the metabolism of these drugs within organs and observe any toxicities. By replicating human conditions with
animals
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, we prevent putting people in direct danger.
For example
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, often, makeup products which show to produce
rash's
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rashes
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 on bunnies will be banned from release to the public as
this
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 would
otherwise
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 result in health issues and even potential legal battles.
Although
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this
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 approach is not ethical towards
animals
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, it is the best way we can guarantee human safety.
On the other hand
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,
animals
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 often used for item
trials
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 have very few physiological or anatomical similarities to humans.
For example
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, rats are often used in
such
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 experiments as they reproduce easily and live rather short lives, enabling scientists to see the drug's course of action quickly.
However
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, a rodent
,
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 ultimately has different enzymes
to
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than
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 humans and predicting human responses is not possible, which risks public health outcomes. In conclusion, the use of
animals
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 in the testing of goods
,
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apply
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 is the closest scientists are able to recreate human conditions. I strongly believe that
although
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 not all side effects may be shown in these
trials
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, the
overall
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 benefit of running these
trials
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 outweighs
this
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 issue.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear reason for your view, so your answer feels more full.
task response
Your second body part partly goes against your main view. Explain this more clearly, and show why you still agree.
coherence and cohesion
Use links like 'First', 'Also', 'However', and 'As a result' to guide the reader more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body part focused on one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Some examples are good, but explain them a bit more to show how they support your point.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You include examples about makeup and rats, which help support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use 'On the other hand' well to show a different side.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Animal testing
  • Laboratory experiments
  • Safety and efficacy
  • Ethical concerns
  • Moral responsibility
  • In vitro testing
  • Computer modeling
  • Human reactions
  • Dependence on animals
  • Humane treatment
  • 3Rs principle (Replacement, Reduction, Refinement)
  • Reliable method
  • Innovative methods
  • Sustainable research practices
  • Animal experimentation
  • Data crucial
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