IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantages of this out weighs the disadvantages?

The majority of
demographic
Correct article usage
the demographic
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 of online social platform users main
use
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 is for communication and or keeping updated with
news
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 and
evets
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events
,
this
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use
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 of social
media
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 in my eyes is a net positive and should be the main
use
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 of these platforms and websites, and the advatages out perform its
disadvatages
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disadvantages
. My thoughts on
this
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is
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apply
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topic
is
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are
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 simple,
i
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I
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 see the
use
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 of social
media
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 platforms as a good thing
and
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, and
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 even though there are negatives to these
uses
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uses,
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 it can be easily handled and controlled so it does not cause net negatives to it all. Social
media
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 as a general concepts has been a major game changer for society as a whole,
this
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 can be seen in how everything nowadays has been revolving around it from the simple concept of
news
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 reporting and or entrarianment, the a lunch and evolution of these platfroms has coused a major reshaping of everything, and there are a lot of postives that has came with it
such
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 as the fact
news
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 can be broadcasted a lot faster to a lot more people, and or the fact that a massive amount of people from across different backgrounds and countires can be connected and interact with each other.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 there can be problems caused by bad actors
such
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 as spreading misinformation and or fake
news
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 and or fake rumors that can cause curriers and even companies to go out of business, or cause mental health problems for individuals, but if the public is trained in
media
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 literacy and the ablility to decipher fake
news
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 and or misinformation
this
Linking Words
 can be very easily mitigated.
Linking Words
on
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On
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 the other
hand
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hand,
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 the concepts
such
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 as identity theft can be an issue as well
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, which
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which
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which,
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 again
with
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, with
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 proper
education
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education,
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 can be easily fixed
and
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, and
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also
Linking Words
safty
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safety
 nets from social
media
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company
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companies
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 will help fight through all of that with no problems. In
conclution
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conclusion
 Social
media
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 can be a very useful tool and a great source of information, but with any tool
learning
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, learning
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on
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apply
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how to
use
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 it and
more
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, more
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importantly
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importantly,
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 the
knowlage
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knowledge
 of how to
use
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 it
safe
Replace the word
safely
 is important and falls on the companies of these platforms and the people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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use
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 it.

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task response
Task response: Answer the question more directly in each body part. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Task response: Add one or two clear examples. For example, talk about family contact across countries, or fast news during a storm.
task response
Task response: Explain the bad points more fully, then show why they are less serious. This will make your opinion stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use a clearer plan: intro, advantages, disadvantages, conclusion. Keep one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are very long and hard to follow. Make them shorter and easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The conclusion is too short. Write 1 or 2 full sentences to restate your view.
task response
Task response: Your opinion is clear. You say social media is more good than bad.
task response
Task response: You cover both sides: communication/news and risks like fake news and identity theft.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You have an introduction, body parts, and a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use some linking words like on the other hand and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster connections
  • geographical barriers
  • disseminating
  • credible sources
  • misinformation
  • mental health
  • social comparison
  • cyberbullying
  • leverage
  • digital marketplace
  • political activism
  • social justice
  • widespread mobilization
What to do next:
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