IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The pictures show the changes of a park from 1980 to the present day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

These maps give us information about the
defferance
Correct your spelling
difference
 that happened in the park over more than ten years. It is clear from the graph that the government added more facilities in the park for the families.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in 1980, we can see there is
one
Use synonyms
 main entrance in the front with
one
Use synonyms
 large street , in the corner at the east, there is only a huge street
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is facing the area of the small lake , you can find it on your left hand with four chairs.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, in the present time, there are four streets with four entrances.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is a new area for the young adult, they can use it for BBQ with large tables ,
round
Verb problem
surround
show examples
 it with
colers
Correct word choice
colourful
show examples
 trees. Opposite to
it
Punctuation problem
it,
show examples
 there is a huge playground for the kids where they can play football and do other activities.
To sum up
Linking Words
 , we could say that there is
one
Use synonyms
 spot that never changed , and it is the small lake. The government left the place unchanged for years
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 only
one
Use synonyms
 change
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 they removed
one
Use synonyms
 of the chairs and added new plants and flowers.

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task response
Write a clear overview in the first part. Say the main changes in one or two lines.
task response
Cover more key parts of the maps. Some changes are missing or not fully clear.
task response
Use more exact words for place and change, like north, south, replaced, added, and removed.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas better. Write one part for 1980 and one part for now, or group by area.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas with simple words like also, while, however, and in addition.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence short and clear. Some sentences are hard to follow now.
coherence and cohesion
You gave an introduction and a short ending.
task response
You noticed the main idea that the park has more things for families now.
task response
You included some map details, such as the lake, chairs, BBQ area, and playground.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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