IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

There is
not
Rephrase
no
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 doubt that these days many countries are
focuse
Correct your spelling
focused
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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space exploration. The
questions
Correct subject-verb agreement
question
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is
Punctuation problem
is,
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 does it have any impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 their country ? In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I'm going to write about some of the positive and negative sides ,
Linking Words
also about
Correct word choice
as well as
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 my opinion. In terms of the
disadvantages
Punctuation problem
disadvantages,
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 some of the nations believe that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more important things
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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 help them more than developing the new technology
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 espacially to the old people.The main reason
going
Verb problem
apply
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to support
this
Linking Words
 claim
in
Verb problem
is that in
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 some large cities
there
Punctuation problem
, there
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 still some young adult hows do not have jobs
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 high
avrages
Correct your spelling
averages
 of
homeless
Replace the word
homelessness
. To illustrate
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 some small
villages
Punctuation problem
villages,
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 they still do not have a good
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of schools
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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decreasing
Replace the word
a decrease
 in
percentages of the eduction
Correct word order
the percentage of
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 young people
.
Verb problem
receiving an education.
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On the
Linking Words
contrary
Add a comma
contrary,
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 taking care of the exploration could have a huge effect on the country , but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 your people need you more .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 make a new
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 for the student , build new houses , facilities ,
hospetals
Correct your spelling
hospitals
, and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
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 care of the homeless by
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
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 paid jobs.
In
Linking Words
addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
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 one of the advantages
focusing
Change preposition
of focusing
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 on the new generation could help the government in the future for the space
, if
Punctuation problem
. If
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 the government make more money because of these young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults,
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 the economy will
increases
Wrong verb form
increase
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, there will be extra money
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 they can spend it on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing all
what
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 they need. In conclusion , it is evident that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 many solutions to solve
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 problems.From my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
Add a comma
,
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any country could be more
secssfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 if they
mange
Correct your spelling
manage
 and make schedules for
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
 future.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree in the introduction and keep this clear in all parts.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Add one clear reason and one clear example for each body paragraph.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and real. Link them to space spending, not only general country problems.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main idea for each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like First, Also, However, For example, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some ideas now jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This gives your essay a clear basic shape.
task response
You tried to discuss both sides of the topic before giving your view.
task response
You used some examples about schools, jobs, homes, and hospitals to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
What to do next:
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