IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Environmental problems such as pollution and climate change have affected on people directly but we have few solutions for these global problems. Why we have few solutions for these issues? How can we solve this problem?

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These days
environmental
Punctuation problem
, environmental
show examples
 issues
such
Linking Words
 as climate
change
Use synonyms
 and air pollution have been
taught
Verb problem
shown
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 to affect
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 directly.
However
Linking Words
, we have
very
Correct article usage
a very
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few
Correct word choice
small
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 number of implications for
this
Linking Words
 global
problem
Use synonyms
. The reason why we lack enough solutions, it is
because
Correct word choice
that
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 the
problem
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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we are facing is progressing at a huge rate.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 it is partly related to technology
,
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;
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 right
now
Punctuation problem
now,
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 we lack
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
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 number of methods and
people
Use synonyms
 to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 . In order to untangle
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
problem
Punctuation problem
problem,
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 several practical steps need to be taken. One clear reason
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 is that
people
Use synonyms
 simply can not keep up with the speed of the natural disasters. Every single day, new problems arise
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 as soon as you tackle
it
Correct pronoun usage
one
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, another one lurks out of nowhere.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Africa they
currently
Verb problem
have currently
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 reduced the
problem
Use synonyms
 related to water scarcity, which was originally
looped
Verb problem
exacerbated
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 because of
boiling
Correct word choice
the hot
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 weather.
However
Linking Words
, they
now
Verb problem
are now
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 faced with new types of diseases, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 again correlated with climate
change
Use synonyms
. Another possible factor why we lack solving methods
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is partly because we have
insufficient
Correct article usage
an insufficient
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 who are well-qualified.
Also
Linking Words
, we do not have
required
Correct article usage
the required
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 technological mechanisms or things which can reduce the issue at the very least.
As a result
Linking Words
, we are suffering more from the
problem
Use synonyms
 rather than addressing it. Despite being in
this
Linking Words
 difficult situation, we can still turn
this
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 on.
Firstly
Linking Words
, governments should implement stricter regulations and modifications. They have to demonstrate the consequences of being reluctant towards our important nature.
For instance
Linking Words
, they have to
organize
Change the spelling
organise
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 more events related to
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, to show that even simple throwing trash in the streets can have devastating effects which can result in the future.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will shape basic awareness about the situation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, promoting new strategies and systems by using what is in our hands can be another good idea. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 nothing is going to
change
Use synonyms
 unless
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 you show willingness to
change
Use synonyms
 the circumstance. In conclusion, environmental problems
such
Linking Words
 as pollution and climate
change
Use synonyms
 have affected
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 directly
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 we have few solutions for these global problems, and
that is
Linking Words
 because it happening extremely fast without us even reacting to
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we are vulnerable from
technological
Correct article usage
a technological
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 aspect. In order to address
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action by encouraging
people
Use synonyms
 to be more responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their actions.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say more clearly why there are only a few ways to fix these problems, and give stronger ways to solve them.
task response
Make your main ideas simpler and easier to follow. Some sentences are hard to understand because the meaning is not clear.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more direct. Your Africa example is interesting, but it is not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some parts jump too fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph and support it with one or two clear details.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
You give some reasons and some ways to solve the problem.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like Firstly, Secondly, However, and In conclusion.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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